My sister thinks it's her lesson for being so intolerant to people, me in particular. My mother thinks it's the payback for bringing this pitiful manchild into our home 15 years ago and though both of these make some sense I still fail to see just what did I do to deserve this bullshit.

@темы: family, angst

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I'm a very unbiased shipper, I really am and this time I wasn't even trying to look too much onto things. But special revelations just happen to me. I was gonna make a post about Tegoshi's lewd habit on sticking his hands inside his pants even as the camera is rolling. But it got even better when I discovered that in 3 pictured out of 4 he was sitting next to Shige. And it's not like they sit next to each other that often. What am I supposed to think?

@темы: Tegoshi Yuya, TegoShige

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My working pattern is switching between the anxious "shit, I don't have work! what shal I do?" and the reluctant "shit, now I do have work and I actually have to work".

@темы: work

---

Yesterday I did re-install the system. As planned I decided to go for x64 this time. I initially wanted it because it might allow playing Marvel Heroes but now I'm not sure I'll even try playing it. Not now at least. But at least that seemed like a good idea. I really like the new version so far. I mean it's still XP so nothing fundamentally new but the interface is fully revamped so it actually looks like Win7 or something. I had to put new nVidia drivers and it also prompted me to get a new version of Photoshop since mine was pretty ancient (CS3). The new version is CS5 and it's very light and easy to use.

Also since I finished Jade Empire I was looking for a new distraction from my miserable life and decided upon The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (2007). I thought there had to be a reason why it's so popular. Well, guess I'll never find the answer to that one (even though from what I've see it can't even compare to Drakensang). After hours of downloading and installing I finally got to play it at some 3 AM and it starts with a dungeon escape and even before the tutorial was finished I was totally freaked out. It's just a game, nothing extraordinarily scary but I was nearly paralyzed with fear. That really broke me. I probably only played for half an hour, didn't even get out into the city but I was done. I quit, uninstalled it and deleted all traces of it from my PC. I had to lull myself to sleep but even today I'm restless and depressed. I don't care about the game but the fact that I'm so weak, both physically and mentally terrifies me.

So guess my "ok" period is over after a few weeks and I'm sinking again. I mean even if I tried to crawl back up tomorrow there's going to be a sequel of my least favourite story of all that's happened in my family last year. I can't see it going well, I really can't.

@темы: angst, PC, Games

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Jade Empire

I should have finished it in June but my switches turn on and off and I can't really help it so it was just there on my PC waiting for its time. And the time has come.

Graphics:
Overall the graphics are ok. They could have been better, let's be honest, but they're passable. Except I was kinda annoyed at the poor job they did with faces. Apart from the NPCs all the townsfolk had like 10 faces between them.

Gameplay:
I really wanted to play something with martial arts but simple fight games are too boring and here you have a good combination of fighting and RPG. There's a good variety in fighting with choosing your partner every time and the wide range of fighting techniques. The thing is it is reasonable to develop only 4 styles (1 of each type) and there are too many to choose from while some styles are very similar so it's kinda confusing. I feel like I haven't fully explored half of them.

Plot:
I really think the plot was good. The story itself has some wisdom in it. It's very Chinese, you know. All about the celestial balance and the nature of things. I like that you can choose your alignment along the way and although it's essentially Good and Evil there's no insinuation - it's just a way. Also the plot development is good leaving you with some good plot twists.

Difficulty:
Well, you can choose your difficulty but I think Master is a good option. Most fights were difficult enough but there were about 5 that were really tough. The one in the temple was really difficult but in a cool way while the final battle was surprisingly ok despite all the paralyzing and tricks. It was almost laughable as I finished Master Li with an onslaught of Leaping Tiger.

Overall: 15/20

All in all I am very satisfied with the game. While you don't really do anything other than talking and fighting I enjoyed the simple freedom in choosing the sex of your character and interacting with your companions. I also like the possibility of romantic storyline. Regardless of gender. Well, they did black out the kiss if you went for same-sex but thankfully I was able to get the decensor so it was good.

Also this game has a saving system where you can't name saves, they are just given a numeral. So I was able to learn my level of paranoia by successfully achieving over 500 saves.

@темы: Games

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Dareka Ga Uso Wo Tsuiteiru

In the end I ended up watching it and I'm glad I did. It's a really good film. In more ways than one. It depicts a life of a family going through a tough period while drawing attention to one of Japan's inherent legislation problems - harassment appeals. The statistic provided in the beginning is really shocking.

I think Tegoshi's a good actor and he did well with this film but I also think the problem is that he's too beautiful to properly blend into the films he's acting in. Even in plain clothes he shines too much for a normal guy.

@музыка: MSP - Bright Eyes (Live)

@темы: movies, Tegoshi Yuya

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The Symposium and our other halves

So today on tumblr this comic about people searching for their other halves came up on my dash. Someone also added"

“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings condemning them to spend their lives in search for their other halves.” ~Plato’s The Symposium.

graphicabyss.tumblr.com/post/75990606953/angell...

And I couldn't stand the inaccuracy since I actually read Symposium and I found that part in the book and added:

I like this story but I want to make a correction.

I read The Symposium and there’s more to it than that. I’m not sure this story can be said to be a part of Greek mythology. It was just a story told by one of the guests, more like a theory. But most importantly there were originally three genders - men, women and a third gender of androgynous people. These round people were very ambitious and powerful and even challenged gods. It was because of their arrogance that they were split in half. And after that they begin to look for their other halves but there were 3 genders, right? Which means that only 1/3 of them were straight. (189e)

But the thing is that originally these people did not procreate though sex. There was no sex. Actually, after being split in half these beings were so needy and clingy and so desperate that they began to die out. That is why Zeus decided to move their genitals to the front. So that “when couples embraced, as well as male-female relationships leading to procreation and offspring, male-male relationships would at least involve sexual satisfaction…” (191c).

Plato’s The Symposium

There. I made it all better.


Pretty awesome if you ask me. Come to think of it Symposium is like an ancient fanfiction since Plato wrote a story about his teacher Socrates and Alcibiades and all these other dudes of the epoch.

@темы: i'm a geek, the eternal debate

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The kiss

It wasn't the best of days but hey, I finally kissed a princess...

Another reason to love Jade Empire.

@темы: Games

---

Since last night I have this weird mix of Shining and Wonderland stuck in my head. You wouldn't think these two could mix well but my mind disagrees.

@темы: snapshot

---

And the Door Opened...

Last night I got into a fit of anger and frustration. But I forged it into something beautiful.

It is done. I had this story 95% written by September but then shit hit the fan... the fan being me and all of my creative juices ran dry. But I wanted to finish this story no mater what. So I waited. Yesterday I felt it was time to try so I sat down and completed the last part, took it over 5.000. I love each and every single piece I've written but I really think this one is special, more whole and mature. And since it's AU I had a lot more freedom with the story so it feels like a fully original piece of art which is kind of amazing. I'm more than satisfied with it. Took me forever to decide on the title but I like this idea and I also like the banner. It may be simplistic but it's mine.

This is probably my last work in this fandom. Though I have a few drafts they're all at early stages and I don't think I have it in my to put so much of me into this. But never say never.

@темы: fanfix, ToraxShou

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Last night something went wrong and now I'm trying to avoid the crash by rolling back. That's right, there are things to be finished. Waiting to be finished. So let's do this.

---

I dunno if that makes me a bitch but it really annoys me when people leave a comment such as "tnx". Like, what the hell? I spent hours making this post and you can't spare fucking 1.5 seconds of your life to write a full word? I know I should accept any gratitude but I can't get over this.

@темы: musings

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Been at war with myself
Since the day I was born
Cannot find any real peace
Just invisible treaties

Been at war with myself
And all the things I've said
If You live with regrets
They can give you some strength

And I've got to learn to make the best
And I've got to learn to make some friends
Tangled up in the spider's web
Of my litany...

MSP, "Litany"

@темы: lyrics

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RESCUE

Yup, that's the drama the song was released for.

High budget, lots of action and ikemen cast and yet... I'm afraid even Massu wasn't able to rescue this drama for me. The huge amounts of pretentious talks at the most inappropriate moments and the low amounts of realism and common sense did it for me. Well, I pretty much caught the drift within the first 5 minutes but the first half wasn't bad. Yet the closer to the end the more ridiculous it got. So much that by episode 9 me and my mom just started taking the piss out of everything and I just laughed through half of it because it was so ridiculous.

The only thing that made it worth watching for me was Massu who was still as adorable as ever even in this kind of role. Though despite him being very physically fit I can't imagine him doing such a dirty not to mention scary kind of job. The guy's afraid of nearly everything. But he did well I think.

Verdict: No.

@музыка: NEWS - Wonderland

@темы: dorama

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Shitsuren Chocolatier Ep 4

I haven't even watched the whole episode yet but I had to know! I couldn’t wait for the subs. Just damn, I’m so mad. I liked Kaoruko but this? She’s 30ish without any prospect of love life and all of a sudden there’s this perfect guy walking into her life and asking her out and she refuses? What the hell? I want to slap her on behalf of all the single ladies.



NOOOOOOOOOOO! Don't let him go!

Not just that, she actually goes out with his and tells him all about her stupid unrequited love. What the fuck is wrong with you?



"I didn't sign up for this shit"

I really hope it works out in the end because othervice I'm gonna hate this drama do bad.

@темы: dorama

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I might now follow you lately and disapprove of your course but you'll always be an old friend to me so Happy Birhtday, Jae!

@темы: Birthday

---

So I slept until 1 PM today and I had a whole series of mini-dreams of all genres.

One where I was being followed and I ended up in a dead-end room. The guy was at the other end of the corridor and it was like 6th-7th floor but what he didn't know is that I had a secret. I opened the window - it was dark and snowing heavily but I just jumped out and flew. Then it was day suddenly and ugly identical suburban houses but flying felt amazing as always.

It was the first day of uni after the winter break and I didn't know the schedule. I went into class and there were some familiar girls and I think Alex was there. It was a lecture on ethics and it was pretty interesting too. But something wasn't right - it's wasn't my class I realized but of my senpai. I had to gather my stuff and sneak out.

Then there was a dystopian one. One where Ukraine became Russia's colony or something and there was this small train than went over the border and I accidentally ended up on it. At first it was fun because the view was great since it run over the ground but somehow it didn't stop going all the way to the last station and I freaked out. There was some registration point at the end with a strict officer lady and I tried my best to sneak out without being spotted.

There were some others serving as transitions like how I was meeting with my mum and got a call from my boss who said the client complained I messed something in translation. As if.

@музыка: NEWS - LETS GO TO THE PLANETS

@темы: Dreams

---

I can't believe 1/12 of the year already passed. So far it's been pretty good I'd say. Lately I'm in a pretty good mood, I've been working well and even went to a party. Let's hope this smooth patch lasts longer.

@темы: musings

---

Ok, finally done with Utsukoi. Whew! Feels like a milestone. Moving on. There’s still a lot to do.

@темы: NEWS., my!gif

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I looked at the photos from the J-Rock party. Mostly relieved thinking I didn't miss much and also at not seeing anyone I didn't want to see but also a little sad at not recognizing a single face. It's like we never happened.