[_Aya_]

Yesterday I got an unprecedented invitation to a corporate party, a welcoming party in fact. It really took me by surprise. However, I declined. For one, the weather was truly horrid. It was pouring rain and cold and wind. Then, I wasn't feeling very well. My stomach ache is back with a vengeance. I would likely go if it wasn't for that but still there was some relief that I had a solid excuse. It would probably be nerve-wrecking. A part of me was naggingly telling me I screwed up my only chance to meet people but another part was like "Yeah, right. As if I was gonna meet the love of my life there or even someone remotely interesting." But there is this anxiety in me, a fear of whether I am even able to relate to people. I mean I can do small talk but I just imagine someone casually asking what I am into and me going into a short awkward silence to try to come up with a presentable enough answer. Then again, the scariest thing would be - and it is most likely - nobody would give a fuck.

Oh, what the hell? Here I am pathetically discussing something that never happened. I guess this won't be the last time so I might still find out which it will be.

@темы: work