I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I keep translating things but I mostly stick to short snippets. Of course, those short snippets aren't all just funny or questionable, some really make me think.
Tegoshi pisses me off a lot but also he's a great hypocrisy meter. When I weight his words I try to understand why they anger me, how I feel on the matter and what the difference is. A lot of the time it's not about the meaning but rather the wording. Say, preferences is one thing but forcing your preferences on people is another. Disliking something is one thing but acting superior towards people who like that thing is another. Tegoshi often talks about admiring people with a "high sense of aesthetics". And of course, I value that too. Though in most of the Western world, a man looks passable if at least wears fairly clean clothes and doesn't smell too bad, my standard is very high. I like men who make the effort to look good. But that only applies to potential partners and very few would pass the basic face control. That sounds harsh but I don't force it upon anyone. It's either there or not. It's very different from making your personal standards known to all the fans who in reality would never have to meet them.
I think what makes me a good person is that constant reality check, seeking to find the balance and be true to myself.
Also this quote I translated:
Kato: I want to be praised but when I’m actually praised, I feel troubled. Especially when I get compliments regarding my looks, I feel uncomfortable. I mean of course I’m glad and it’s better than people speaking ill of me but I hate it when people disregard my feelings on the matter. (laugh) It really happened a lot during middle school. There would be things in magazines like “special feature on the fresh crop of future ikemen” and I’d get 5 stars. I’d think “I see, I see, so I’ll become an ikemen?” (laugh) This isn’t about looks… For example, when I’m told “In that recent show you were really interesting” such a praise makes me very very happy.
Wink Up, 2015.12
A half of me is like “Aaaw, bb doesn’t want to be objectified!” and the other half is like “Shut up and just admit you’re hot”. But later I realized I understand what he really means. I never really knew how to react to compliments regarding my looks. I never really wanted to be told I'm pretty or cute, I suppose I even dreaded it. Not like I've been told that often but I never longed for that.
It wasn't about just looks either. I never particularly felt the need to be liked. Rather than being liked, I wanted to be respected. I guess I was very luck to have a high level of self-esteem very early on, maybe even too high, but at least I never felt the need to have other people's approval. Say, being told I'm smart doesn't really make me happy. I know I'm smart, so what? The real satisfaction comes from appreciation of the things that I did, especially the things I worked hard on. I suppose my personality is also one of them though because forging my personality is the biggest hardest work in my life.
Tegoshi pisses me off a lot but also he's a great hypocrisy meter. When I weight his words I try to understand why they anger me, how I feel on the matter and what the difference is. A lot of the time it's not about the meaning but rather the wording. Say, preferences is one thing but forcing your preferences on people is another. Disliking something is one thing but acting superior towards people who like that thing is another. Tegoshi often talks about admiring people with a "high sense of aesthetics". And of course, I value that too. Though in most of the Western world, a man looks passable if at least wears fairly clean clothes and doesn't smell too bad, my standard is very high. I like men who make the effort to look good. But that only applies to potential partners and very few would pass the basic face control. That sounds harsh but I don't force it upon anyone. It's either there or not. It's very different from making your personal standards known to all the fans who in reality would never have to meet them.
I think what makes me a good person is that constant reality check, seeking to find the balance and be true to myself.
Also this quote I translated:
Kato: I want to be praised but when I’m actually praised, I feel troubled. Especially when I get compliments regarding my looks, I feel uncomfortable. I mean of course I’m glad and it’s better than people speaking ill of me but I hate it when people disregard my feelings on the matter. (laugh) It really happened a lot during middle school. There would be things in magazines like “special feature on the fresh crop of future ikemen” and I’d get 5 stars. I’d think “I see, I see, so I’ll become an ikemen?” (laugh) This isn’t about looks… For example, when I’m told “In that recent show you were really interesting” such a praise makes me very very happy.
Wink Up, 2015.12
A half of me is like “Aaaw, bb doesn’t want to be objectified!” and the other half is like “Shut up and just admit you’re hot”. But later I realized I understand what he really means. I never really knew how to react to compliments regarding my looks. I never really wanted to be told I'm pretty or cute, I suppose I even dreaded it. Not like I've been told that often but I never longed for that.
It wasn't about just looks either. I never particularly felt the need to be liked. Rather than being liked, I wanted to be respected. I guess I was very luck to have a high level of self-esteem very early on, maybe even too high, but at least I never felt the need to have other people's approval. Say, being told I'm smart doesn't really make me happy. I know I'm smart, so what? The real satisfaction comes from appreciation of the things that I did, especially the things I worked hard on. I suppose my personality is also one of them though because forging my personality is the biggest hardest work in my life.