I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I can't pass up an anniversary, whether it's a good one or not really. I was going to write a long motherfucking post about these 5 years and when happened to me but I don't really want to. I do it just for the sake of my OCD.
It was 5 years ago that I came home one evening after another one of those rampage sleepovers, went to the balcony for a smoke and felt my heart beat so fast like it was on protest. 5 years ago when my life began to really fall apart. The truth is it was never whole in the first place and the cracks were getting bigger. Then there was soul searching, doctors and witch doctors, panic attacks, meds, therapy and more soul searching. I thought it was just a stage but it went on and on and now it's been 5 years. I learned so much, I grew and matured and I feel like I've been to hell and back. Every time I feel like I know all there is there's a new lesson. I still don't know the end of the story but somehow I stopped crying. Somehow I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not even lonely. This chapter feels long and I don't know if it will end soon, I stopped waiting and began living.
It was 5 years ago that I came home one evening after another one of those rampage sleepovers, went to the balcony for a smoke and felt my heart beat so fast like it was on protest. 5 years ago when my life began to really fall apart. The truth is it was never whole in the first place and the cracks were getting bigger. Then there was soul searching, doctors and witch doctors, panic attacks, meds, therapy and more soul searching. I thought it was just a stage but it went on and on and now it's been 5 years. I learned so much, I grew and matured and I feel like I've been to hell and back. Every time I feel like I know all there is there's a new lesson. I still don't know the end of the story but somehow I stopped crying. Somehow I'm not afraid anymore, I'm not even lonely. This chapter feels long and I don't know if it will end soon, I stopped waiting and began living.