What a difference a day makes

Yesterday was not a very good day. I don't even know why but I was very annoyed, then there was the new 13 GB Marvel patch, fuck-ups in Heroes 6 and then my video played HD dying on me. It just shut down out of the blue. I was so shocked but at the same time I didn't panic, at the back of my mind I felt it's too early to even make moves. Also of course then there's the constant stress caused by political situation. It's all like a bad dream, like some sick dystopian AU that it's still hard to come to terms with it. 2014 has been a very weird year so far and it's getting weirder still. Anyway, I decided to just let my bad mood and anxiety do its thing, see if the dream fades the next day.

Today it was like I woke up in another dream. I was still annoyed and everything seemed almost the same. But different somehow. It was raining like woah today and it's almost like the wind brought fresh hope. The MH have almost finished re-downloading, I beat that nasty 4th scenario in the campaign. Also my HD loaded as if nothing happened. The news too are somewhat comforting and it seems like it's going to be ok somehow. Life is but a dream, it seems.

@темы: snapshot

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Alone Together

It's been awhile since I made a fanvideo. In fact, it's been almost a year. I wanted to start making NEWS videos long ago but XP-64 was a bitch and movie maker didn't work so only got to cutting the shit up recently.

Of course, one of the first on the list was a Tegoshige video. As always I had a hard time finding all the footage, especially recent. While there's a lot of love in magazines and even on the radio the last two DVD didn't have any backstage preciousness so I had to look hard to get what I could. As a result it ended up as a fun video more than anything featuring all the best moment of them kids being little shits. I wasn't sure about the song (I tried Miss Missing You but it was a break-up song so I decided against it) but now it seems like a good choice. There's a subtlety to the lyrics and the dynamics are really good.

Next in line: a Member Ai video. That is obligatory and I've never had a band where I supported all the member ai so much. I also have 2 Tegoshi ones in mind and a Massu one maybe but let's do one thing at a time. There is a lot of cutting to do yet.

@темы: fanvid, TegoShige

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Benefits - otsukare!

It took me half a year an a lot of frustration and insight to finally finish this fic. It ended up being my longest story up to date with over 6.000 words and I have to say I gained some confidence with it. I worked hard on characterizations and tried to create a balance of sexy, amusing, cute and touching scenes. I think I did well. There are very few Tegoshige stories so this time I didn't even have any fics to steal ideas from, it really feels like mine. Basically, I can say that this story is a cornerstone, it lays the foundation for other fics and I already have the next one in the works which will be an AU and allow me more liberty.

I only got 5 comments so far but they were all very excited and that makes me happy.

@темы: fanfix, TegoShige

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Troubleman (2010)

I've been meaning to watch this even before Rescue but the first episode kinda freaked me out. But now that I finished it there's a lot to say.

Troubleman isn't your average drama. Mostly because it's been directed by SABU who also worked with Tegoshi on Shisou 5 years earlier. At first I thought it was an average criminal action film but after actually watching it it became evident that this was a parody more than anything One review described SABU as having "a trademark style of quirky action-comedies propelled by characters who hurtle headlong though squirming narratives steered more by the forces of incidence and coincidence than the actions of the protagonists themselves." Not my genre but it was pretty funny at times though mostly just ridiculous and absurd to the point of being amusing. I also really like the distinct sharpness and saturation of the image. It leaves a strong impact. At first BE FUNKY! seemed like a weird theme song choice but by the end it sounded just right.

Troubleman was actually planned as a film and I honestly think it would probably be better off as such. While I really liked some of the character stories (episode 4 was great) imho they were way too long and after the intense start they really dragged down the film dynamics. Also I didn't really like the ending. I expected something different. But hey, at least it was a happy end. Sort of.

I honestly think all the actors were good but Shige was perfect for the lead role. Really, he was. Previously he often got the roles of confident capable guys but each time it felt a bit off. As soon as I heard the title I thought it would fit him but the truth is his acting was very good. There were many strong emotions that needed to be portrayed and he managed it perfectly. Apparently the director was very kind to him and basically let him do whatever he saw fit. I already wrote about this but Shige is perfect for the characters that are more of catalysts of the events that actual doers. And that by no means is an easy part because those kinds of roles require a lot of emotional reactions (as opposed to causing reactions in other people). Either way he was good. Not to mention looking hot as hell, even towards the end. No matter how you look at it he does not look like a man who's been beaten the shit out of.

At any rate it's an amusing and engaging drama that is sure to leave an impression.

Rating: 8

@темы: dorama, Shige is my spirit animal

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Sometimes I almost regret being a feminist. Today I watched Now You See Me and I couldn't help but notice how every woman who has more than 3 seconds of screen time is white, conventionally attractive and in her 20's-30's. I mean it's a decent watch and I even watched it to the end which is rare but overall I found it way too pretentious. It reminds me of Jumper - good start, lame ending.

@темы: movies, issues

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The dreams have been so vivid lately. It's so strange how sometimes you start a whole new chapter of your life but then you wake up and it's like a game that didn't save progress. I've made a new friend, met an old feud, fought with my sister and saw a big chance. I even remember my dream self's words. My sister said something rude about my former friend and I said: "I may not like her but don't you dare talk about her this way." My dream self is sassy. And lonely. I mean the last few days I had dreams of reconciling with people I parted ways with long ago. That just seems desperate.

@темы: Dreams

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JYJ Concert in Tokyo Dome 2013 - A Very Mean Review

As much as NEWS' 10ve Anniversary was joyful as much was this one lame. I have already been pretty much disappointed in JYJ by now but this DVD left me with an indescribable feeling of dread. I would go so far as to say this disappointment might be bigger than that of the Great TVXQ Demise. I just felt annoyed most of the time, other times I was simply bored. And sometimes I was almost angry. Though I left the fandom 3 years ago as a fan with a 7 year experience I honestly felt betrayed. I also finally realized this whole JYJ thing simply isn't working.

I thought that The Unforgettable concert was the ultimate low but I was wrong. For one, this concert can hardly be even called a JYJ concert as JYJ songs were just 12 as compared to 14 solo songs. I know they don't have many songs but they could do band covers instead of solo covers. The setlist is imbalanced with way too many ballads and MC at all the wrong places. The whole concert just feels incredibly messy and half-assed. And honestly I didn't feel much excitement from the audience.

It was good to know that Yoochun can still sing. Well, more or less. But his solo songs were really lame and easy. I felt like falling asleep. For the first time in 7 years I was bored just looking at Yoochun sing. And I used to like him so much. The thing is he also looked bored more than anything. I didn't really see any emotions on his face most of the time. And that is truly sad. And he didn't even try with the dancing. If he wants to act that's ok but I don't want to see him come on stage and do a half-assed performance.

I was also very disappointed in Jae. His ego has gotten so big I bet it felt stuffy in Tokyo Dome. While Jee's voice is still good and stable I just don't like his Glamorous Sky. And Only Love was just shitty. I used to like Jae a lot. I used to love his fail and his warmth. Now both are gone. All of the big words he said on stage felt empty. At the time of Thanksgiving I was so glad he got more confident but it escalated way too quickly. I seriously want him to go to the army. Maybe that'll help him remember where he comes from.

And Junsu... Junsu is perfect. Watching him sing and dance is joy. I actually watched Junsu's latest DVD and while most songs were lame he was still fucking brilliant. His costumes are also rad. Even though he's the one who claims he doesn't have a fashion sense. When I first got into TVXQ Junsu was my #5. Now he's #1. Well, actually he's the only one I support with all my heart. Maybe it's just me but he seemed to look uneasy most of the concert, kind of like he felt something wasn't right but couldn't do anything about it. It's kind of funny though how I never really found Junsu pretty and yet now he's the only one I like looking at.

There were also many details that annoyed me such as: weird lights, crappy pointless background videos and really weird camera angles. I was a bit surprised to see them using the moving stands. That seems like such a Johnnys thing. The MCs were incredibly lame and forced. Also I really don't understand why they kept telling they haven't stood on that stage in 4 years because no matter how I think about it it's pretty obvious they had the Thanksgiving Live in Dome in 2010 so that makes it 3 years. Not the first time I have chronology anxiety.

All in all I hardly enjoyed the concert at all. Despite the superior vocals and some great dancing (on Junsu's part) it was a boring and badly produced concert. It really made me think that JYJ might be better artists but Johnnys are definitely better entertainers. But the biggest disappointment for me was that I think they let down their fans. It felt like they were doing this just because they felt compelled to, not because they wanted to. But even if so they definitely could put more effort into it. It all just felt really lazy and that is unforgivable.

The making was just lame and sad. When we watched the ending credits we actually laughed because it was just so ridiculous watching the Golden Boy Junsu, the Rockstar Wannabe Jaejoong and Ajusshi Yoochun. But the actual rehearsals were sad to watch. I think the only moment I smiled was when Yoochun was instructing Junsu on how to play guitar but that was like a brief flash and then it was gone. If Jae at least tried to participate in the production and looked like he was putting effort Yoochun just looked like he couldn't care less.

Right after I finished the concert I saw a gif on tumblr and that gif was a perfect representation of what JYJ looks like now:


Even the positions are correct.

People change. Some evolve and grow stronger, some degrade. But then again it's just a matter of perspective. Either way, there comes a time when you know you should let go of something or someone. If I am honest with myself JYJ right from the very start was just clutching at the straw, deluding myself and investing into something that was clearly failing. But it's not easy to let go something that used to mean so much to you.

@темы: JYJ, Concerts

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I had a dream. I was a man and I had a woman I loved. It was pretty erotic but mostly innocent. But the whole thing was about some special agents and I think I was about to go on a dangerous mission so we had this very intimate moment together. It feels strange to remember it so well. Or maybe not so much. It's not the first time either.

As I woke up it make me think about my sexuality. For years it really confused me, still does but I came up with a way to explain it. While it is obvious I've never been completely straight I guess I never really felt gay either. It's more like there are different character within me, each with their own sexual preferences. Basically, there's a straight woman, a straight man and a gay man. I honestly don't even know which is stronger. I like many people but I feel there's no way I could work out a relationship with most of them, not with this body. It's all quite odd but for now that's the best explanation I could come up with.

@темы: Dreams, myself

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Finally got my package today. It took so long I began to think it might never come. But ugh, I’m never stepping outside again ever. It’s a 5 minute walk to the post office and I thought I was gonna die.

But hey, the pictures are all so pretty~♥ Also the bonus bag from JE is precious. I’m gonna enjoy myself and have fun fun fun!

@музыка: Mamas and Pappas - California Dreamin

@темы: little treasures, snapshot

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The Good Wife S05 - The Gallery

It's been a long ride. And not an easy one. But I'm proud of my work on the Good Wife and it helped me learn a lot. Not only in terms of languages but also about the whole political and legal system in the US and more.

This series is probably not something I would watch but I think it's pretty amazing in many ways. The plot, the characters, the subtle humour - everything is perfect. It's about politics, careers and family but more than anything it's about strong women. Working on it for over half a year I got very emotionally attached. I was shocked myself since I never was so upset about a death of a character before. The actors are all brilliant. I could never choose a favourite but I have a soft spot for Eli because I have no idea how such a character can be so lovable. Peter should just marry him.

Anyway, I don't want to talk about it too much, I'd rather do a little spam. Here are some of my favourite moments from the second half of the series.

E14: This is why you had to love Will.

The Gallery

E14: The reconciliation.


E15: Beware! Asses about to get kicked.



E15: "Will is dead."


E18: Dilinger seeing Alicia for the first time.



E18: "You're not Will"


E18: The admiration.


E18: She can be scary.


E18: You gotta be kidding me.


E20: Cary is such a little shit.


E21: Don't mess with Kalinda.


E22: Who did this?


E22: "We're like a banana republic here!"


E22: Gracefully patronizing


E22: Cary/Cary. You know what I mean


E22: This is goodbye



Also just a little bit of trivia:

Cary's father is Ukrainian. Also, he is fucking 37! I though he's like 30 max. Before HD anyway.

Diane was in The Big Bang Theory. Also Cruel Intentions.

Kalinda was in East is East as the daughter! That's actually very fitting. Even though she was like 27 by then.

@музыка: PJ Harvey - Good Fortune

@темы: picspam, work, series

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Current

Haven't been very productive today but I washed and changed the sheets. It's been 3 weeks since we had hot water and apparently we won't see it any time soon because there's a shortage of gas so we need to make sure we have enough for the winter.

I'm holding on pretty well despite the drawback. I haven't gotten down but not sure if I can keep it up for long. Today I watched Ippuku and at the end where the international news section they had a report on the plane crash. It was surreal and painful. You can't escape reality.

I just really don't want to think about the future at all. I live in today and make rough plans for tomorrow but that's about it. My prize photos still haven't come and I'm getting nervous. I guess it's no wonder with the way things are in the country right now but last time it only took 5 days.

Tonight I'll try to do the GW post to wrap it up. Also try to work on the fic. I can't wait to finish it.

@темы: snapshot

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I already loved Jpopsuki but the other day I discovered Jpopsuki.tv. Surprisingly enough it has some PVs that the main site doesn't. I was thrilled to find good versions of SADS' Masquerade PV and PIERROT's - Last Letter PV. Been looking for those for like 8 years, seriously. Also a few j-pop PVs that I didn't even knew existed. Still have quite a few to find but I was still kind of happy. So easy to make me happy.

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Waking up feeling like slashing everyone with everyone and knowing it's my ovulation day. Watching Guests of Room 0 last night didn't help.

@музыка: Kalafina - 光の旋律

@темы: myself, snapshot

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I don't really know what to make of myself lately. I have been very successful in keeping up my spirit. Sure my mood swings a bit but only within a normal range. The only problem is my mental vulnerability to negativity. But I don't get upset, I just get scared and sickeningly anxious. It's more of a physical reaction. That's my weak point. However, on some other level I feel my defense tightening. I mean today a bad dream sneaked in and it got violent but after only a few moments as people began to rush in panic I suddenly realized "I don't belong here. I shouldn't be here. I don't want to be here." So I stopped the dream. Just like that. That seems pretty badass.

@темы: myself

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Kakure Karakuri (2006)

I had very high expectations of this film so I kept it for a special time but I reckoned that way the other half of summer shall pass so I watched it yesterday.

My high expectations were mostly because of Ken Nikai. I absolutely love Kagen no Tsuki so I expected something of the kind but alas that wasn't it. Which is strange, actually because the whole mystery-solving kids thing was similar. The actors too. Sugizo also made a very brief appearance. But for some reason the film did not leave a strong impression on me. It just felt like a nice film for kids, I guess.

Anyway, the most unexpected part was that it almost feels like the whole film was made to show Shige's coolness. I mean really, he was so badass in this film it's not even funny. And you know he's gonna get the girl the moment she looks at him. I honestly don't think his acting was very good but maybe that was because he had to act really cool despite feeling anything but. The telescope thing suited him though. And the mystery solving. At any rate, he looks really damn cute. Hiraoka Yuta, on the other hand, had to act as the absolute idiot which only highlights Shige's coolness.

The whole Coca-Cola thing was kinda annoying. I mean it's probably even more annoying having 5 sponsor CM cuts but it just looked so out of place in this film, so ruining the atmosphere it felt like a violation. They never even ate soba at that sobaya once, just drank the damn cola.

At any rate, this might not be a masterpiece but it's a nice film to watch.

@темы: movies, Shige is my spirit animal

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It's been 7 days. 7 days of peace. 7 days of wholeness. Let's make it a month. LEt's make it a year. Let's make it a lifetime.

@темы: myself, snapshot

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Resident~5-nin no Kenshui

Mama has been nagging me for months to watch this and now that the translation was finally completed I decided to get to it.

Yokohama is a really damn dangerous city. Apparently the people from all the never-ending accidents that we've seen on RESCUE go to this one hospital where Resident takes place.

I really liked the first couple of episodes, the pace and the plot but towards the middle it got worse ending in lame drawn out dramatics. Well, that happens a lot.

Seeing Massu as a doctor was even weirder that seeing his as a firefighter. Manaka is an heir to a plastic surgery empire and everyone calls him "obocchan" which is really cute. Even though I think Dr. Babyface would suit him better. But he's this awkward character nobody takes seriously. Even though in interviews everyone said Massu was kind of their leader being about 5 years older that the rest, Manaka's role was the smallest out of all 5 interns. There wasn't a single episode dedicated to him.

Apart from him I quite liked the main heroine, Oomasa Aya looked so much more natural in this role than in YamaNade and Shinjo's character is quite fresh, you can't easily label her. But Yazawa... that guy seriously pissed me off. He's just a weakling, you know. From the last episode you'd think it's gonna be fine but I don't think it's that easy. Manaka is apparently interested in the main heroine but sure enough it doesn't go anywhere, much like with Shige in Hokaben. She actually tells him nice people aren't popular which is so twisted. Oh well.

In other notes, I really liked Naka Riisa's style. She is supposed to look boyish but I really like her outfits here. Again.

Overall it's a decent drama, much better than Rescue imho but the unnecessary dramatizing ruined the effect for me.

Trivia: I just found out Naka Riisa ia married to Nakao Akiyoshi. You know, Chuu! From Kinpachi. He's cute. She also gave birth to a son last year.

Rating: 7

@темы: dorama

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Happy Birthday, you beautiful mess! I never stood a chance, did I?

@темы: Birthday, Shige is my spirit animal

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I just read another long in depth Shige interview about childhood and junior days and all that and it was 2011 so he couldn't even talk about the book which made it even more depressing and damn, I was just torn between laughing and crying all the time and boy, I thought my life was hard but oh, my.... I mean you look at him and he's a beautiful man, anyone's dream come true but you peek inside and he's a pure mess. Such a stupid boy, having no idea how amazing he is.

@темы: musings, Shige is my spirit animal

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Shige-chan: Contest entries

Paana Play Photo Giveaway

The challenge is split into two parts.

Challenge Part 1: Creatively represent Shige-chan’s name in a photograph.
So in other words, take a photo of his name. It could be getting photos of each letter and making a collage, or arraying items to read his name, or you could simply write his name somewhere and take a photo of that, or even take a photo of something that already has his name written. Any way you can think of to represent his name, so be as creative as you like. It’s also up to you which form of his name you use eg. Kato, Shigeaki, Shige,加藤シゲアキ、シゲ、etc. Photos can be put directly into the comment or links can be provided.

Challenge Part 2: Define “Kato Shigeaki”.
In other words, pretend you are putting Shige-chan’s name into the dictionary as a new word. Define that word (how would you describe him?).
You will have to say the word (his name) and then follow it with the definition. Your definition can be simple or it can be complex. You can use any form of his name as mentioned above. If you don’t quite understand this challenge please refer to the example entry below.

Please use the below entry form and put your entry as a comment to this post.

Entry Form:

Bias: Kato Shigeaki

Challenge 1:


Challenge 2:

Kato Shigeaki: 1. Possibly the only man who sounds sexy while bitching about trivial things.


SG_paanas Photo Giveaway

What about Shige's evolution/transformation since Nov 2011 do you like best and why?
Tell us what how you think he has changed, what you like about it, what he has done better, where you think he has room for improvement etc etc!!

First of all, I feel kind of bad about trying to evaluate people. I don't think anyone can really judge someone else's effort apart from that person. Also, I've only been in this fandom for less than a year so it's hard for me to talk about this timeline. I hope it's ok if I reference other periods as well.

The first time I really saw Shige was in Life Of NEWS. I didn't exactly fall for him straight away but he seemed like a cool, confident and capable guy. That is why I was quite surprised to see him in the old TV shows and particularly documentaries. This old Shige seemed like someone people made fun of, a comical character that was constantly the butt of everyone's jokes. It was hard to even perceive these two characters as the same person. I couldn't comprehend how it came to this, how Kato Shigeaki being handsome and smart turned into The Shige, the least popular member in the band who got bullied and whined like an old man. It almost seemed like he was the opposite of YamaPi who was the epitome of coolness. The thing is I don't think Shige was any less handsome of talented than Yamashita. The difference was in his attitude. Shige seemed to justify his lack of popularity and found the fault within himself. He was unhappy with it, you could tell, but it seemed no matter how hard he tried he couldn't change this character he developed.

Yet, at some point Shige was able to turn back the tide. It didn't happen overnight but gradually he began to break out of his shell. I guess 2011 was a very crucial year both for NEWS as a band and for Shige as a person. Something broke but something new has also been born. It was one of those make or break moments where a person faces a crisis and in order to move on they have to change something, first of all within themselves. Clearly Shige passed the test since that year he completed Pink and Gray becoming the first writer in JE and that gave him a new identity and new fans who truly loved him for his talent. I think it's very important to find your niche. He also changed the writing of his name abandoning the kanji and no matter how you look at it it's a very important and symbolic step. In a way with a new name you can become a new person.

I also think that after their return NEWS became a completely new band, the accents have shifted and all the band members were also able to reassign their roles. Somehow Koyama became the most bullied one although they all make fun of each other from time to time. Another important change is that Shige got a lot more confident on stage and Tegoshi often mentioned that lately he really began to shine during the concerts. I also feel that Shige really worked hard on his singing and dancing and even if he's not great at it I do think he got better and the whole band is a lot more in sync with each other. It would also be hypocritical not to mention that he's gotten even more handsome in the past couple of years. But it isn't just the artistic side that has changed. I think 2012 tour unlocked something in Shige. Before he tried to restrain his emotions a lot but at the first concert all the tears he held back were released and also his happiness. The part where he asked "Can I hug you guys?" was when he finally allowed himself to express the affection he felt and since that moment he seems to be doing that more naturally.

I wouldn't say this Shige is a completely different person. He still lacks confidence, gets shy easily and he still whines a lot but that's just a part of who he is. I'd say it's more like he's an improved version, Shige 2.0. He himself says that for a long time he really worried what people thought about him and whether he appeared cool but at some point he kind of stopped caring as much and that allowed his natural coolness to show.

I believe breaking out of a character is a very hard thing to do for an artist so I think what Shige did is amazing. There are always possibilities of improvement but I believe Kato-san is already trying his hardest. The only thing I wish for is for him to have more faith in himself and stop being so worried about failure. This isn't even about him being an artist but I just really hope he grows to love himself more. It's not something you can just overcome, building confidence is a long process and I think he's already came a long way so I'm sure he'll be fine.

Phew, barely fit it into 4.300 words. Now we wait.

@темы: Shige is my spirit animal