I won the Massu giveaway. Yappari. Actually, I was confident but after I read the entries they were pretty good so I even feel a bit worried because I felt like I could do a better job but that's totally stupid. But the funny thing is I know both other winners, they're big Massu fans. Anyway, something to look forward to. It's a whole set of 4 this time. Mama's gonna be happy. Next challenge: two Shige giveaways.

---

まっすー

Tomorrow with be be too late so...

Happy Birthday, you wonderful manchild! Thank you for your existence!

At first I thought that if Shige is my spirit animal and Tegoshi is what I lack then Massu is someone different entirely, someone I don't understand, a bizarre and peculiar creature. Yet, as I watched him I found strength is his actions. Massu often seems like a 10-year old put into an adult's body. His fear of all kinds of animals, his behaviour with women, his child-like stubbornness and inability to deal with simple life situations can seem strange and almost unbelievable. You even might wonder how he managed to live to that age without overcoming those things. And yet, I sometimes find myself identifying with his struggles. Even now, as an adult I often feel troubled and confused in situations where I feel I'm supposed to manage easily. When Massu said he cried when he was alone at the airport I actually felt relieved because I felt my struggles were real and valid. I'm also glad to know we're the same generation. Seeing Massu doing his best and overcoming his fears, being excited over his small victories gives me strength.
Thank you, Massu. And Happy Birthday, dear.

@темы: musings, Birthday

---

Neverwinter Nights 2 or Bleak Boring Shit 3

After Drakensang I've been craving for a good RPG. However, I guess quality RPG games are expensive to make and there aren't many companies who do that. Basically, there aren't many to choose from. Moreover, even out of those you can get most have a male lead hero. And then of course is the creep factor. I tried Fable 3, I think and I barely played for 5 minutes before I flushed it. Then I tried Elder Scrolls IV and the graphics were bearable but it started with prisons and basements and ghouls and I tried to make it out of there at least but I freaked out and decided it wasn't worth it. Anyway, I tried Neverwinter Nights 2 - another supposedly classic but it reminded me of Baldur's Gate - incredibly overrated and basically boring. The beginning wasn't too bad. I told myself it might get better and I should give it a chance. I kind of liked the battle mage thing and I kind of got into it but the truth was the graphics were below average, bleak and boring, the gameplay was annoying and the plot was very average. I actually struggled through it trying to find fun in finding cool clothes or making a spirit wolf Shige and little things like that but halfway though I got seriously bored. In addition it was increasingly bleak. In the end I decided it's not worth it so here I am dropping yet another RPG which I hate but that's rational.



Not going to do full rating since I haven't cleared it but I'd give it a 14. Now that I uninstalled it I got 11 extra GB on my HD yet it's still not enough to get Sims back. I'll have to think about it.

@темы: Games

---

After finishing Kinpachi I got a free slot so I decided to sneakily watch something by myself. I tried the IT Crowd first but it was pretty lame so I just skipped to Orange Is the New Black. It's pretty good.

But you know what bothers me? The Good Wife, Rookie Blue and now Orange all have some lesbian action. Of course it's between young sexy women. And on top of that, one of them is bisexual. I mean not that I mind and they're all good shows but the thing is you'd never see two guys making out like that. Those films are made by men are altered to suit male audiences. How typical. And the former two are not even series I've chosen myself.

@темы: issues, series

---

Okay, it's been getting to serious on here there days. The truth is I'm doing pretty well right now.

So in good news, I finally got myself a birthday present - a cool LED keyboard. So modern.

@темы: PC

---

Miss Representation

53% of 13-year-old girls are unhappy with their bodies. That number increases to 78% by age 17.

Depression in women has doubled since 1970

Rates of depression are the same among boys and girls until puberty, but twice as many women are diagnosed as depressed post-puberty

Girls between 11 and 14 see on average 500 ads a day

The number of cosmetic surgical procedures performed on youth under age 19 more than tripled from 1997 to 2007.

In 2011, only 11% of protagonists in films were female.

Between 1937 and 2005 there were only 13 female protagonists in animated films…All of them except one had the aspiration of finding romance.

1 in 4 women are abused by a partner in their lifetime

1 in 6 women are survivors of rape or attempted rape

15% of rape survivors are under the age of 12

Women are about 37% of prime-time TV characters (they are 51% of the U.S. population). Women 45 and older are only 15% of prime-time TV characters.

Eighty percent of 10-year-old American girls say they have been on a diet. The number one magic wish for young girls age 11-17 is to be thinner

Source: therepresentationproject.org/resources/statisti...


I also took the pledge today.

@темы: issues, video

---

Continuing the topic, I've been watching Japanese TV shows for over 8 years and the only women I remember are...

Mari Sekine - used to host Music Japan - probably the biggest exception and I quite like her. She might have some help from her popular comedian father. She also studied in US (graduated with honours) and is one of the very few Japanese celebrities with a perfectly fluent English.

Becky - now on ItteQ as well as other shows - is half-Japanese ethnically. I remembered her straight away thanks to her unusually bright fashion. She's basically goes for the cutesy style and yet strangely it doesn't annoy me.

Mori Izumi - half-Japanese - her Grandmother is a famous fashion designer. Her family is very privileged and she got an international education so her behavior is far from that of conventional Japanese women. She's very blunt and sometimes even rude but I think that's the reason she gets invited to shows.

Kagami Seira - half-Japanese - and the only reason I remember her is that she was publicly disgraced on account of her femininity because of Tegoshi's crossdressing. Twice.

Suzuki Nana - a popular model and TV personality who I have seen several times on TV lately. But honestly from what I can tell the only reason she gets invited to shows is because she's dumb and everyone is having a great time by making fun of her.

There's also the hosts of J-Melo who are all pretty and fluent in English but I can't remember their names right now. Basically, most of the women above are half-Japanese and from what I've gathered to Japanese people half-Japanese is not Japanese and thus not really expected to adhere to the Japanese standards. And even those who have Japanese parents have received education abroad which probably resulted in them having non-Japanese role models and behavioral patterns. Of course, having influential family helps too.

@темы: issues

---

On Japanese Men and Women

My Japanese men keep giving me such conflicting feelings. Because I really admire them but their views on women often piss me off. And it's not just Gackt with his ultra-sexism. Actually Gackt is such a carefully constructed entity that I don't know which things about him is true and which not.

But this whole "girls should be cute and feminine" thing really gets on my nerves. I absolutely do not believe it when Shige says his type is "3 steps behind" but it still annoys me. He and Massu had a pretty intense course of gender tolerance at the time of Kinpachi but that was 12 years ago and social influence is strong. Tegoshi is even worse. I mean he has a hundred faces - he can wear a uniform or a neat suit or pre-teen girl fashion or even a frilly dress but he wants his girls to be neat and dainty. And NEWS are actually all guys with pretty progressive views.

I dunno, I just feel that the acceptable image for a woman in Japan is so narrow. If you look at the TV shows you'll see it. Every program, whether it's news or entertainment has this young cute woman dressed very plainly in some pale shapeless dress. She would be holding the sсript and read announcements and flipboards but seldom make comments. You won't remember their names. Like the girls on Music Station who change nearly every year and are hopelessly replaceable. I can't think of any show where a woman would be the main host except Tetsuko's room. Usually women are just accessories. Recently when Shigemasu were on Pekepon it turned out the host girl was Shige's classmate. It's not like her position was bad but it made me think she'll most likely never get anywhere.

The fate of girl idols are also were different from their male counterparts. I don't know much about them but JE boy bands can continue even after 40 but the girl groups only have very young members who get kicked out or "graduate" before they reach 25. Well, you can always become a comedian. Those people sure have a lot more freedom of expression. Of course, if you don't mind being the butt of jokes and forever pretending to be madly in love with handsome popular artists. I mean I have huge respect for Imoto and I feel like she doesn't get nearly enough credit for all the amazing things she does.

Also Koyashige saying that girls have it so much easier to be popular because they can dress up and use make-up. I honestly expected them to know better than that. Duh. First of all, girls are expected to dress up and use make-up. Not to mention shaving, nails and eyebrows. There's so much we have to do just to be socially acceptable. When women do that it's normal, when women do that it raises their popularity by 200%. Men can be ugly and messy and still be very popular. And then the socially accepted criteria of beauty is so damn strict. Of course it's not just about Japan. But it seems so strange how in Japan and Korea traits that are considered attractive are traits not really typical for their very race. Like small faces and big eyes and curly lashes. It just doesn't make sense. Also while women may not get arrested for touching men in a suggestive way it still makes you a creeper. A desperate creeper. Thank you very much.

Anyway. I know I've never even been to Asia and my views are probably somewhat biased but these thoughts were piling up inside of me so it feels good to let them out.

@темы: issues, musings

---

Ippuku! Cinderella [contest entry] - WON!

First of all, I think Ippuku! Cinderella was an interesting but unexpected corner. Escorting celebrity wives was not something you'd expect Massu to do. But it helped to show Massu's unexpected sides. It's hard to choose just one episode but I think my favourite was the 2014.04.21 one which was the third date.

This time the date was with Nakabayashi Miwa (35) and I think this woman is a heroine. She is working as a model while raising 4 children. That’s just amazing. So no wonder she never has any time to herself. The problem with the first two dates was that half the time was spent in traffic. This time Massu decided not to waste any time on the road and find good spots in the city which was a really good move. Everything went a lot smoother than before. This time the age difference wasn’t as big as with other wives and for one Massu looked like a man, not like a cute nephew.

Overall, Massu did a really good job with planning. They managed to do a number of things and seemed to spend a really good time. I liked the idea with the kimonos and the rickshaw. Miwa-san looked very pretty in kimono. Massu planned a route to get some snacks and then they made something together just like Miwa-san wanted. Massu was so courteous too.

But more than anything I was impressed by the ascent to Sky Tree. I remember about 4 years ago in Soukon NEWS went to the Tokyo Tower and Massu was terrified to look down but now he seemed perfectly ok with it. He actually encouraged Miwa-san who was afraid and held her hand and it was very lovely.

Basically, Massu looked very pleased with himself while Miwa-san looked genuinely happy. I think this was the most successful out of all 8 dates.

@темы: NEWS.

---

I love Tegomass but they never really work as a pairing for me. Despite their recent spouse quarrels on the radio. So I basically found a perfect match for Massu. I like this Toushin boy and I think they were friends before Tegoshi came to the agency. He's really shy and quiet and I think they should get along perfectly. I wonder if they still keep in touch.



In other news, today life is kind of ok. Maybe it'll be war tomorrow but right strangely now it's kind of ok.

@темы: NEWS., slash

---

3 nen B gumi Kinpachi-sensei 6 and more

Finally done with the series. It's been about 5 months since I started watching it but the subs were slow and the graduation needed a special timing. Now I have a lot to say.

First of all, I kept hearing about Kinpachi for months but after struggling through My Boss My Hero I restrained myself because I've had one school drama too many. There are tons of teacher J-dramas like GTO, Gakusen and many others but all of them are based on manga, shallow and far from reality so none of them managed to capture my attention. Because of that I was pretty sceptical about this one. I've kept my resolve for awhile but at some point I happened to learn more about the whole series and about 6th season in particular. Kinpachi-sensei is an epic drama that aired every few years from 1979 to 2011 with a total of 8 seasons. Apparently Season 1 ended with a rating of 40% and I can understand why. Though other school dramas try to address problems such as bullying and violence, it's always pretty shallow and often resolved in a bizarre way. "Kinpachi" touched upon a much larger spectre of problems and dealt with them profoundly. Season 6 in particular had a very distinct theme of gender identity ad sexual minorities. When I learned all of this, I knew there was no way I could skip it.

MORE

Another very important difference from other cool teacher dramas is that Kinpachi is not a former wrestler or a yakuza or any other of that nonsense, he's a very normal human being with a huge heart and unlimited patience. He doesn't just help out his students, he tries to make every incident into a topic of discussion in class and make every single student understand why it was wrong. And I think each lesson was very deep and human and meaningful. But I was very impressed by the in depth discussions about gender and sex and identity all the aspects of it. It's really bold and wonderful to bring up such difficult issues.

I also really liked the 3-B as a class. It wasn't filled with blond handsome troublemakers and model-like girls but 30 kids with very different looks and personalities. It felt very real. Season 6 is also known as the one that made Aya Ueto famous. Her role really was pretty damn complicated. At first I naturally assumed that Shige would be her love interest but it turned out that wasn't the case at all. Anyway, Shige didn't get that much screen time but he was an important presence and a very cool one too. Hasegawa Ken was basically that tall, smart and handsome guy all the girls fall for. Um, I don't think it's appropriate to have feels for a boy half my age. Massu's character barely had a few lines here and there but he was this cute and blunt kid and I think he didn't have to try hard to get into his role. Towards the end though he became a part of Narusako's group so he got more screen time. Though he and Shige never really mixed in class I guess since there were only 3 Johnnys on the set they got friendly. Also I find it really amusing that Kazutoshi often wore yellow because he wanted to participate in Tour de France but in the end he got to wear it a lot))

The only thing that I really didn't like is the ridiculous dramatization of the whole Narusako's story. The graphic portrayals of violence and such. But that isn't the problem of this series, it seems to be a problem with all J-dramas.

Shige and Massu often mention Kinpachi-sensei and how much it meant for them and now I can perfectly understand why. I'm sure for all the 30 kids of Class 3-B it was much more that a dorama, they really lived it. And the tears they cried at the end were real. Even the boys were weeping. Needless to say, I shed a few tears too.

All in all, Kinpachi-sensei is not your average school drama. It's not a comedy even though it has a fair share of humour and it has little romance. But it's full of humanity and wisdom and I really wish youth everywhere could watch a series like this. Even with 22 episodes and a 2-hour season finale it doesn't feel stretched out. Even though I'm way past middle school I could relate to it and quite enjoyed it.

Rating: 8

I though I'd end here but then I found out the characters from Season 6 appeared later in the series so of course I had to see that as well.

First of all, there was a small appearance in Ep.11 of Season 7. It was basically about Nao and how now, 3 years alter he could finally start taking his hormones. At first I wasn't going to watch it but then it turned out they also showed Haseken and Kazutoshi and other kids so... Apparently Ken and Akane are dating too which is a relief, really. Even though it was just 2 short scenes I am a real sucker for stories stretched in time so I was very excited about it.




And then of course there was the Graduation Special from 2011. The whole thing is about 3.5 hours long and it encompasses a lot of flashbacks as well as a new storyline. Of course it's a bit of a fast forward version of fixing the newest troublemaker but I quite like how they managed to put a lot of students from the earlier seasons. All of the graduates or rather the 3-B Gang coming to haunt him in turn in a "kid, you ain't know shit" way was kind of amusing even. With my Japanese I was only able to understand about 60% of the text but it was enough to get the main points.

I didn't even know about the bar scene. Ken being all "Sit down and listen, bitch. We're your senpai." But I was glad to see Masanori. I also noticed Masanori now works in Hasegawa Law firm probably under Ken's father. I wonder how Kazutoshi's Tour de France dream went. But at least he still wears a lot of yellow))



The episode ended with the teacher's graduation ceremony where most of the past 3-B students were present and it was very touching. A lot of them were crying. Kame didn't make it to the graduation though he had a 5-second scene earlier. Neither did Nao which is kind of understandable but I dunno they could have a bulky bearded guy come and say "Nao desu", that would be funny. At any rate he was a very important character for the season, you know. Massu looked really happy to be there and Ken was super-serious throughout the whole thing. But it was really interesting to see everyone after 9 years. Some kids hardly looked different while some changed a lot. Anyway, the whole atmosphere was really warm and natural and you knew the tears and smiles were genuine. Ah, the feels~




But you know one thing that bugged me? As the final credits rolled over sensei's walking off into the distance a ward "And..." appeared on screen. You didn't.

@музыка: Fall Out Boy - The (Shipped) Gold Standard

@темы: dorama

---

I was really intent on writing smut but I'm 700 words in and it's nowhere near smut. I am such a failure.... *cries in the corner*

@темы: fanfix

---

Wish I could see it
Not only feel it
It’s on the inside
It’s on the inside

Wish I was bleeding
Then you could see it
But it’s on the inside
It’s on the inside

I’m only human
I’m only human

I'm Only Human, Maria Mena

@темы: lyrics

---

Fandoms and Icons

The NEWS Fandom still remains suspiciously nice. After all that went down in A9 fandom... Every time I get an inbox message I still think “hate mail” but it’s nothing but kind words and asks and I’m relieved. It almost feels like a functional relationship after an abusive one. I’ve only been active here for about half a year but I’ve gotten so much support and it means a lot to me.

Also it seems like my sister's logo design is rubbing off on me. Some time ago I got a great idea for a JYJ OT3 but I never came around to realizing it, it was too late. However, yesterday I suddenly got this idea to make a Tegoshige logo. I made it today and was very pleased with myself but then I thought I might as well make an OT4 logo - a Member Ai one. And not only the shapes came together beautifully, they make perfect sense in terms of the members' roles. IT IS PERFECT. I'm a genious. Once again.

@музыка: Ellie Goulding - Lights (FK Remix)

@темы: NEWS., fandom

---

So I just sent in the 22nd, last episode of Good Wife. It feels a bit surreal. It's been over 6 months since I began working on it and now it's over. I feel very proud of this and I have really learned a lot but also I feel a little scared. Not just because I don't know when I get my next job but rather because now I need to start on all the things I have been delaying because of work. I feel so immature just because I feel so important saying "I have work". But it's almost cute in a way. Anyway, there are about 40 things I wanted to do, watch, write and what not. Freedom is always a bit of a burden.

@темы: musings, work

---

Dramatics, your honor

No, really, why am I so fucked up? When I fall in love it is utterly hopeless and the only time I loved it nearly destroyed me.

But in the end what hurts more that anything is that of all the people I have even known nobody ever cared about me enough to not let me go.

@темы: angst

---

I don't even want to talk about it but let's summarize.

I just finished GW 521, just one more to go. 40 pages of it. Oh well, I'll worry about that tomorrow.

My PC situation is pretty sucky. I removed the body of the dead HD from the PC and that was clearly the right thing to do. I also realized the terrifying sounds came from the other HD, the oldest one. Well, ok I thought. This is not the worst scenario, I thought. I still have my big new outer Drive. Well, not really. It's seriously damaged. Hopefully the older files are ok but the ones I tried to stick into it recently might be not. For now I moved all I could on my main drive but this is not good.

Fandom is sweet as ever. I've had nothing but gratitude and politeness in my inbox. Last week I've had a micro-depression about the Chinese HD videos and their greedy little fandom but it's ok, I'll get over it.

I have about 67580 things I really want to do when I work but once I have a break nothing seems quite as fascinating. For now, lets' have a Koyama swinging those hips like there's no tomorrow. Yes.

@темы: PC, my!gif

---

It's been a long day...

And will most likely be a long night. All the PC trouble lately has been giving me nightmares. I installed Windows 3 times in the last week. I really hope this time it'll last. I did all sorts of things. I was able to format the 20 GB drive and make a clean installation to the 55 GB one. Finally took out the dead HD and it's a relief but Buddy still makes weird sounds and my heart skips a beat every time I hear them. I had to talk to father's tech guy and he's like the most boring person on Earth. I actually talked to 5 people in total today so my social norm is abused. But I learned a few things and discovered this amazing tiny tool called Unlocker that can delete all those nasty undeletable files so now I'm cleaning up the remains of my old Windows.

But of course the most important part is that I'm trying to cope with Windows 7 and still very mixed feelings. At first I was like "Wow, that's really handy!" but more and more I'm going WTF? at how much HD space it eats and how slow it gets. I actually gave up my WinXP in the first place because of Marvel Heroes and XP-64 is really good but a number of progs don't work on it and it's a drag. Butt his 7 thing gives me very mixed feelings so far.

Anyway, for now I'll just try not to fuck anything up and just finish the season since I'm probably gonna have a 'vacation' after that. God of computers, bless me!

@темы: PC

---

News flash

Ok, so now it is...

My Windows crashed. Again. But thank god nothing is lost. I set up a temporary one for now to finish work but I'll have to do it properly later on.

I have 25 pages of sсript to do in 3 day. Which is possible but tough.

It especially sucks since NEWS have a brief activity splash and it particular my OTP has been OTPing hard. Well, not just mine but that' finy by me. Yet I have to restrain myself till I finish the episode. Yosh, ganbarou!

Ah, also the manchild is finally gone along with my poor sister. Cruel as it may be, it's so blissful to be able to relax in your own home.

@темы: PC

---

SORASHIGE BOOK RADIO 2014.06.01

I thought I couldn’t like him any more and he goes and recommends MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS - SAME LOVE and talks about the same sex marriage and how much courage it must have taken a straight man and a rapper to make a song like that. Ugh, I hate you!

@темы: issues, Shige is my spirit animal