The Diary of a Graphomaniac — @дневники: асоциальная сеть

воскресенье, 01 января 2012

05:21

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...

Talking about last New Year's resolutions, I guess I can say I did half of them. I mean I lost about 3 kilos. I kind of was hoping for 5, but I really could't lose any more no matter how much I tried. But oh well, it seems ok as it is so I sort of gave up on it.

As for this year's resolutions, it's way too early for that. I like how the Japanese do it on the 2nd of January. Makes a lot of sense. So January second it is.

Anyway, I better go finish that game now.

@темы: myself

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04:43

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...

Pictures are good, but they can't convey all the spectre of expressions. This is why screens are so great.
Tora's bitch face is priceless~

And boy, does he make a hot Santa...

@темы: Tora

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01:55

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...

明けましておめでとうございます!

Happy New Year!

С Новым годом!

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01:16

The 2011 Post.

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...

It's been a really hard year. Basically in my mind it's split down the middle in summer. The first half is kind of blurry. There was so much pain, both physical and mental, but right now I have no desire whatsoever to dwell on it. I've actually met with three healers and I learned some important things about myself and there was the therapy - a sheer torture that made me feel completely drained mentally and physically. And I walked away at last. But I really don't want to write about that.

I lost a lot this year, first of all in terms of people people. I severed links with most of those I was close with. There was hurt and disappointment. It was painful and it still is. I burned bridges and thus many things were lost along the way. But I don't regret a thing. For me it was the only way to move forward.

But I don't want to think of this year in a negative way. Because even though it was a lot harder than many of its predecessors it also brought a lot of progress. No pains, no gains.
For one in the process I found a person who I can really call a friend. But the most important things happened on a personal level. I grew a lot as a person. I feel like I finally began to mature properly. I was able to overcome some of my strongest fears. They might seem like small things to some, but for me, I never dreamed I'd be able to do it. I still lack a lot, but now I can work on it one step at a time. It's like this giant hole that was inside me is almost gone.

Then there was the new fandom which is something I'm really happy about. It was a great timing. It was a breath of fresh air after all the lawsuit bullshit early in the year. They are truly wonderful and I grew to love them a lot. And then there's the new OTP which really means a lot to me. In a way Shou and Tora are the first Japanese that I can really relate to. And the fact that they have passed through the dark times and came into the light is something very important to me. And apart from the band itself I've met some really nice people. Even if we can't talk normally, I still treasure these relationships.

So basically thought there were some really tough times there were also some great things, like spending a great Birthday, seeing Gackt live and celebrating a Chuseok on my block. And these are the memories from this year that what I want to remember and cherish. Even though this year I don't have any special achievements I can boast I feel like I've made tremendous progress on my own terms and that now I am finally able to advance into the world.

Next year I want to build many new bridges and begin to put all those things I have learned to practice. I don't want to make any loud resolutions, I'll advance by my own pace. I know it won't be easy, it's still far from it. For the first time in my life I have this perfectly groundless feeling that somehow I'm going to be alright.

@музыка: BUMP OF CHICKEN - Merry Christmas

@темы: myself, milestone

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суббота, 31 декабря 2011

23:22

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...

Дорогие ПЧ!

Не буду удручать вас длинным постом, хотя, как вы могли заметить, краткость на мой конек)

После я напишу пост побольше, для себя. А пока несколько слов для тех, кому не безразлично.

Для меня этот год был очень тяжелым. Как физически, так и морально. Но я не буду об этом. Очень много мостов было сожжено в этом году. Много людей также осталось позади, я бы даже сказала большинство. Мне было больно обрывать связи, да и сейчас бывает больно. Но я не жалею об этом, иначе было нельзя. В общем... Хочу поблагодарить всех, кто был со мной в этом году, даже если только мысленно. Тех, кто все еще молча меня читает и особенно тех, кто хоть изредка оставляет комментарии. Для меня это много значит. Что же касается меня... Я в порядке. Возможно даже более чем когда либо. У меня пока еще далеко не все хорошо, но впервые в жизни у меня появилось чувство, что это обязательно будет.

С Новым Годом!))

@музыка: GLAY - Christmas Ring

@темы: address

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23:06

The 2011 Totals

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...

I got really lazy compiling up and it feels like I forgot a lot, but the first half of the year is kind of hazy and I don't want to dwell on it so that has to suffice.

Sites of the Year: livejournal, tumblr.
Obsession of the Year: Alice Nine
Movie of the Year: ?
Series of the Year: IS
Documentary of the Year: Ancient Aliens
Variety of the Year: Alice9 Channel
Game of the Year: Sims 3, Drakensang: The Dark Eye
Soft of the Year: TSR Workshop,
New skills: Clothes for Sims 3, translating from Japanese.
Discovery of the Year: Can't tell.
Trip of the Year: Carpathian trip, Moscow.
Concert of the Year: YFC in Moscow
Quote of the Year: "When I think about it now, I just can appreciate the environment I was put into. Because of everything that happened in the past, I'm everything that I am now today." Tora
Colour of the Year: Purple
Keyword of the Year: King
Food of the Year: Cheese
Acquisition of the Year: Video card and the Media-player))))
Person of the Year: Tora
Artist of the Year: Alice Nine
Album of the Year: GEMINI
New Artists the Year: CN BLUE, Kagrra, Vivid, 鳥子.
Rediscovered Artists: Kenna, Maria Mena, No Doubt.

MORE

@музыка: Penicillin - hibiwareta HOLY NIGHT

@темы: Totals, snapshot

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