21:13

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
For awhile I gave up on documentaries. But not long ago I remembered about Terry Jones and looked up all of his documentaries I could find. Terry Jones likes to bring out the unexpected, the unknown aspects of history. Hs more than a host, he's a great actor and comic which makes his films fun to watch.

There's the Hidden History of Egypt and Rome which tell about the lives of common people rather than kings and emperors.
There's the Ancient Inventions that made me feel we are hardly more civilized than our ancient ancestors. Maybe even less.
There was the Terry Jones' Barbarians which shows that Vandals weren't vandalic at all and Romans were perhaps a lot more barbaric than all the barbarians.
And finally there's Terry Jones' Medieval Lives which states peasants weren't quite as poor as we think, abbots had brothels went to war, damsels could easily abduct lads, knights in shining armour were mere cut-throats and Richard The Lion Heart was a bloodthirsty tyrant who despised England.

And here I thought the Middle Ages couldn't get any more depressing. For that reason I decided to skip the Crusaes series. There are several more but I haven't been able to locate them yet.
But anyway, all of the films were really interesting.

@темы: documentaries

13:49

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
It's good to have several fandoms. If one of them becomes embarrassing you can just ignore it. :rolleyes:

@темы: fandom

01:12

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
No, I can't resize it, OK? I just can't. It's too precious a moment~ ♥

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@музыка: ViViD - Hoshi no Ame

@темы: RenoxShin

00:44

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I've become a bit of a modding geek. I mean beside the normal stuff like Delphi's Dashboard I've got TSRW, S3pe, CTU, Tattooinator (+Gimp), Skininator and even MilkShape. I look like a pro but I'm only good with textures, when it comes to meshing I'm totally clueless.

@темы: Sims 3

15:30

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I have been flying this morning. I can remember it so well. And this time I knew exactly what I was doing. I knew I was dreaming too. I remember thinking arrogantly: "I'm really good at this now." Of course I did get pulled into another scenario soon enough, but... The feeling of ascending over the people's heads, over the building, over the city... is was amazing.

@темы: Dreams

02:27

T_T

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
SERIOUSLY, PS? AGAIN? WHY DO YOU HATE ME? :weep3:

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@музыка: ViViD - feast of the moon

@темы: ToraxShou, RenoxShin

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
The Gazette took 4 years to get to Budoukan, Alice Nine took 7, ViViD took less than 3. I was a little bitter when I heard it. "Who are these guys? They look so average!" Today I take my words back.

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At first when I heard about the DVD I wasn't even planning to download it but I watched one of the ViVid Styles and there was a preview that got me intrigued so I decided to get it when it comes out. I tried not to expect anything. I know that a bands' true value is in their live performance. PVs are promotional videos, they won't give you the real picture. And thus I embarked on this amazing journey.

Overall I am very impressed. Most of all at the high professionalism of the band. I'm no judge when it comes to sound, I just rely on my senses but hell those guys rocked! Truth be told they were as good as Alice Nine when they performed at Budoukan one year earlier. If not better. I still think A9 is considerably better in terms of songs but then they wrote their best songs after their 4th year. I was amazed at how confident ViViD acted on stage. They looked like they play at Budoukan every damn day!))

I have to talk about Shin in detail. The boy was amazing. He's so slender and his voice is so boyish but he stood on that stage like he owned it and rocked the place real hard. He managed to fire up the audience in a flash. But it wasn't just his attitude, of course. Shin is a great vocalist. His voice isn't very distinctive but he is very skilled and sounds like a real pro. He also does this cool vibrato and even raps. Not to mention I've seen him play guitar and ever drums. I think I'm in love! :inlove: Anyway there were some slips but overall it was a very high quality performance. The most surprising thing for me was the fact that I've seen some older performances and his singing wasn't half as good. How is that even possible?

The other the guys were also amazing. Everyone played their part flawlessly. And Reno's guitar solos were really cool. I only know about 5 songs by title but I enjoyed the whole concert from the great performance.

Their average age is about 23 and they're already this good. In terms of look they also underwent a very rapid transformation. They went from classic Visual Kei to refined in just 2,5 years. It's like with ViViD everything speeded up x2. This is scary. What's gonna be next? Tokyo Dome?

Notes:

:right: Thank you stylists for the clothes and make-up. I really liked Shin's suit. Very elegant. And that sleeveless shirt...my favourite.
:right: Unlike A9 you can really see who's the lead guitarist. Reno totally pimped most guitar solos to himself. But he's cool at it too)
:right: It was funny to watch how Reno changes faces looking so serious one moment and having the goof face in just a moment.
:right: Shin totally borrowed some of them dancin' moves from Shou. Senpai must be proud))
:right: I know Shou saw the live, not sure about the other. Wonder what he thought about it.
:right: My Mum didn't think much of "these kids" (old story) but after she was quite impressed.
:right: PSC editors, great job with the DVD but please don't put the credits over the ending part because that is just plain cruel!

I was a little bitter when I heard ViViD got to Budoukan so early in their career but now I have to agree they deserve every but of it.

@музыка: ViViD - Re:Load

@темы: review, ViViD, Concerts

13:38

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Ok, things are looking up. After about 5 days of fiddling and banging my head on the table in frustration I finally unblocked Mum's laptop (thanks to Dr. Web's free support, I'll even download your stuff), my freaky dreams have turned to just regularly weird and my face finally looks human (not for long though).

@музыка: Mor ve Otesi - Ayıp Olmaz Mı

@темы: myself

03:16

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Ok, I know the top will need a lot of refining and the guitar is a bit messy and too fat but GODDMITIFUCKINGDIDIT!

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How cool am I seriously?

@темы: Sims 3

23:11

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I actually installed Milkshape today. I can't believe it. But I was really determined to create that top for Tora so there you go. I had to use CTU first and it was a real pain to figure out how to do it but I made it! I don't plan on learning to mesh. Oh no, I have more than enough work on textures, thank you very much. But I feel good knowing I managed to achieve this. Now working on the Alpha set. The problem is thought now I can't help but think of making that special Alpha guitar too.

@темы: Sims 3

20:19

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I REGRET NOTHING.

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@темы: Sims 3

16:42

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
How precious) Reminds me of that other couple who were on the show earlier this year. They are perfect for shipping~♥ They aren't the best friends type but they definitely have the chemistry, this playful bullying and shy resisting. Yet apparently not popular thus bringing the chances of a decent fic close to zero. Shit.

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PS: Maybe I should just create that RenoxShin comm.

@темы: RenoxShin

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
May seriously sucks so far so at least I have to write this

May 15th is Junsu’s album release!
May 18 - Alice Nine Channel!
My birthday? nah...
May 26 - Time Slip Dr. Jin

@темы: post-it note

17:14

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
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As I woke up in the morning I was surprised at the tweets. From the moment the the clock struck 12, there were many messages from people of different countries and races. Seems like my lacrimal glands will increase from this morning. Everyone, thank you!

ヒロト、生まれてくれたありがとう;)))

@темы: Birthday

21:21

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I still deeply mourn over the death of megaupload. Downloaded ViViD's Take Off DVD. In 53 fucking parts. Took me hours to unpack it. I'm a true ViViD fan, buying DVD is easy but going through hours of downloading and unpacking and copying...now that's tough.

Also I loled so hard at the news of their 1st full album coming out. I mean, to play at Budoukan and celebrate their 3rd anniversary and only then release a full album. What are they, Johnnies? XD

@темы: ViViD

13:54

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...

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@6002theMicky: 누구나 하나쯤은 가지고있는 마음의 비밀의 문… t.co/h9BlNV1h
Trans: Everybody has a secret door in his mind…

Yoochun, you damn romantic, you...

@музыка: L'Arc~en~Ciel - Shizuka no Umi

@темы: Yoochunnie

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
“Anyway, it's like with bikes,' said the first speaker authoritatively. 'I thought I was going to get this bike with seven gears and one of them razorblade saddles and purple paint and everything, and they gave me this light blue one. With a basket. A girl's bike.'

'Well. You're a girl,' said one of the others.

'That's sexism, that is. Going around giving people girly presents just because they're a girl.”

― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens



It was finally Spring enough so I re-watched IS. I also re-watched Sex, Lies and Gender just to complete it.

Since high school I've been interested in things like gender identity, gender roles and sexuality. I'm not quite sure why. I don't consider myself as bisexual although I'm sure as hell isn't all straight. Not with the things I did to my Barbie dolls back in the day... :rolleyes: Actually up until the age of 17 I didn't really find male body attractive at all. I've had quite a few girl crushes too. Of course it was just a feeling of attraction, something I would never act upon. Not only am I female, but my build is very small. Lately I have those moments when I look at my body and sort of get amazed at how small it is. Generally I'm ok with how I look, but sometimes I really wish I were bigger. No matter what you say these things matter a lot. There are just things that you can't do when you're small.

But generally I'm attracted to androgynous people of either gender. I believe masculine and feminine are not the opposites of each other and a truly admirable person should have the traits of both genders - decisiveness and flexibility, strength and sensitivity.

I've been blessed with both hemispheres developed. I mean I have good linguistic skills but my coordination is also good. I'm pretty good at mapping the territory and finding my way around. I always liked shiny things and dressing up but I also liked mechanisms and was very curious about how things work. I also like PC games, especially strategies and RPG.

Speaking of childhood I wouldn't call myself a tomboy, a was a really quiet child. But ever since I was little I really hated pink. Even though I could care less about what I wore I was very stubborn and I'd get "No way!" if they tried to make me wear pink or something very girly. I really liked playing with dolls but my Mum says I played with all kinds of things including tank models my father likes assembling. When I became a teenager things got even more complicated. My sister says it was because I lacked a male role model in my family but it has to be more to it. Anyway I strongly rebelled against the gender stereotypes. 'Girly' became just about the worst characteristic for me. Around 13 I had a 'military pants, army boots' stage which was a trend back then. The music I listened to was also the type guys listened to. But music is a topic of its own so I won't go into that. I hated all the mating games with guys wanting nothing but getting into girls's pants and girls enduring it for the sake of cool status of going out with a high-schooler or even a student. I despised it, found it offensive. At some point somehow in my eyes being tough, manly even became a virtue. Even now I seldom wear skirts let alone dresses. Yet I like knowing I can and do it when I feel like it which is about once in several months. Last time I wanted to wear a skirt was when I saw how cool it looks on Tora. Also I think high heels is a heritage from the Inquisition even though I like looking at people wearing them.

Yet I can't help but be somewhat feministic. I really like Asian men but the problem is there's this idea of protecting your woman and I'm really not comfortable with it. It's one of the reasons I can't completely like Gackt. I really don't want to be protected and the very idea of it annoys me greatly. I sort of find it offensive even. Seriously, we don't live in caves anymore. Muscle power has little to do with being able to live well. Women have more flexibility, more endurance and more tolerance. If anything it's men who should be protected. Men are about x4 times more likely to die in an accident or become addicted to alcohol, drugs or gaming. All in all I think both too much masculinity or too much femininity lead to no good.

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But no matter how I look at it 'manly' is a good word and 'girly' is not. Sister often reprimands me about my look or behaviour, like: "you're just like a dude!" I take it as a compliment. Sometimes I act that way on purpose just to annoy her and other people. Lately I had the feeling my mentality's become more masculine too. I can just feel it. Physically I'm also trying to gain some muscle like I always wanted.

Sometimes I feel things would be much easier if I were a man but if I really think about it I might have had even more trouble than I have now. In the end I wouldn't say I want to become a man, I just fight for the right to be the way I am in a society that tends to put labels on everything. But truthfully sometimes it would seem I enjoy this fighting.

@темы: myself, essay

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...



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@музыка: Urban Trad - Mecanix Remix

@темы: crack, Alice Nine

16:48

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I was so glad Spring finally came and now it's 30 C outside. >_<" I want my Spring back!

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
AliceNine_SHOU: 兄様ー!前の番組で皆で〝TMごっこ〟させて頂いちゃいました( ;´Д`)番組楽しみです!

TMR15: 会えると思ってたのに、まさかの入れ違い... ( ;´Д`)

AliceNine_SHOU: 入れ違い残念でしたがHOT LIMITポーズ皆で大盛り上がりでした★お疲れ様でした\(//∇//)

TMR15: えーーー!見たかったーーー!(*´艸`*)♡

AliceNine_SHOU: おおおお恐れ多いですΣ(゚д゚lll)

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AliceNine_SHOU: Aniki-sama! On the show I was in before everyone had to do the "TM impersonation" ( ;´Д`) The show was fun!

TMR15: I thought we'd meet but we missed each other... ( ;´Д`)

AliceNine_SHOU: Too bad we missed each other but everyone was hyped up doing the HOT LIMIT pose ★ Good work! (//∇//)

TMR15: Reallyyyyyy? I wish I'd seen it! (*´艸`*)♡

AliceNine_SHOU: Aaaaaaawesome!Σ(゚д゚lll)

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Lol, Alisteners did a translation of her own but... I think it's totally wrong.

@темы: tweets, Shou, Translations