Just finished watching the Thanksgiving in Tokyo Dome DVD. When I wrote from watching fancams before I had no idea, really. This is so much different. There are no words to express how I feel about it. To say there were amazing vocals and great dancing is redundant - it's a given. This time though it seems like they tried even harder - I honestly have no idea how that is humanly possible, but that's what I felt. The most amazing thing about the concert though is the atmosphere. It's very distinctly different from all previous concerts. I've never seen them so free, so confident on stage. Especially Jae. It's something you can't describe, only feel. My heart flutters when I see him like this. He seems to be shining from inside. And, as my Mum noted, Jae is known for spacing out a lot, but I've never seen him so there, he seemed to enjoy and cherish evey second of it. Now I watched many TVXQ concerts and while they seem more confident with every performance and always full of joy from performing this is something different.
At the end I was wondering whether any of them will cry or not. I've never seen Jae like this. He tried to hold it in so much and he would have, but a few minutes before going off stage he broke down. He never cried before. Not once. Now he looks so fragile. As if he's afraid people won't like him anymore. It makes me want to hold him tight and hide him from the world. I'm glad he has Yoochun at least.

I made some quick caps (It's 3 AM), thery're not the best, but they will do for now.



Apart from that I take back every comment about Jae's leadership skills. He talks good and he talks eloquent. At times I miss the old arrangement and all the Yoosu, but I can't oppose to Jaejoong being in the middle. There's no logic to it, just a feeling. It just seems... natural.

To tell the truth, from a selfish point of view I wouldn't mind much if TVXQ never got together again. These people are talented and skillful and they can make it on their own. But the thing is I know these three people want it and above all I want to see them happy. And for some reason Jae is the one I worry about the most. It hit him the hardest. I don't think he can ever get over it.

There's been a lot of shit going on this year and I'm afraid there's more to come. I don't know what is going on and who is to blame, but I chose to believe them, believe in them and it's all that matters now. It's been 3,5 years and my love for these boys just keeps on growing.