24h TV

Finally, 18 hours later I'm done watching 24h TV that took place on Aug 27-28. I could have just watched the NEWS parts since there weren't that many, really, but I wanted to have the complete experience. NEWS were the main personalities and I expected them to be the main hosts but they weren't, it was mostly Hatori-san and that cute girl. Guess the boys got used for their cute faces huh. I was a little disappointed but also a little relieved since there's fewer parts I have to cover. They also got to sing several songs and it was all good.

I was about to buy a box of kleenex for all the drama but in the end my emotions were very weak, I cried about 3-4 times and not even hard. I was hoping watching people with disabilities and severe illness would make me feel like my own problems are insignificant but alas no such thing happened. If anything, it only made me feel worse. About everything. The people in the show were all incredibly strong and amazing and they were supposed to give everyone courage but... Some of the stories were just tragic and unfair no matter how you looked at it. Like the 4-year old boy who was so full of life and charm and was more of a man in his very short life than many adults, the newscaster girl who died a year after achieving her dream or the genius young composer... Their fates were just cruel and if that's a part of a divine plan - fuck it.

Apart from that, I found some of the stories not as touching as they were supposed to be. Such as the one of parents celebrating 20th birthday of a girl who died years ago. I understand it's very hard to cope with such a loss, but it's not good pretending she is alive, you have to move on. There were several more stories that I had mixed feelings about. Tegoshi's project was... odd. But at least that was what the girl wanted. In Shige's case so much work went into the video and it was really amazing but it wasn't very clear if the girl really enjoyed it. I mean she probably did to some degree but it left a much bigger impression on everyone else. People were crying and I must be mean because I think the children born with severe impairments do not fully understand the scope of their disabilities and sometimes don't even know they are disabled and therefore do not understand why people pity them. It is mostly their parents who suffer. Anyway, some projects were nice and meaningful but others were pure tear-jerkers. Reminds me of that 7 Days project Koyama did in Amazon that was supposed to be all inspiring and sentimental but the children looked very unimpressed.

But if I had to pick one story I enjoyed, it would be of the swimmer girl, she is just so amazingly strong and lovable. I was also very touched by the family of a blind mother and a deaf father and their amazing kid. All in all, it was an interesting experience, I wanted to watch something so important to the Japanese audience. I am also glad the whole marathon went smoothly, I think NEWS were really good for the role. I mean maybe other bands did a great job too, but NEWS were probably a little more since because they were truly happy about this opportunity and didn't take it for granted.

@темы: NEWS.

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I can't believe I've been gearing Emma for 2 years, did every damn upgrade and she still can't pass then this iron jerk with adamantium-laces bullies comes and bounces his way though the Cosmic Gate. I am so mad.

In other news, I'm playing Sims 3 again and KW was fucking up my game big time so in the end I decided to try Passion and it's good. Still getting used to it but it's simple and functional and very effective.

@музыка: David Usher - Black Black Heart

@темы: Games

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Civil War vs Apocalypse

This post is way overdue but my soul won't rest until I write all about the two Marvel's latest movies.

The Civil War left me very confused. I wasn't expecting much, really but I couldn't expect it would be so... boring? That's definitely the last thing you'd expect a superhero movie to be. The movie was very commercially and critically successful and I was really surprised just how much I didn't like it. It left me with a strong sense of injustice, especially with the way Apocalypse was bashed.

I just really honestly don't get what is so good about it. The plot was very complicated and very unnecessarily so. Besides, it just doesn't add up. When you try to rationalize it, most of the event in the movie don't make sense. I haven't read the comic version but I know some parts of it (like the whole Secret Avangers thing, Cap's relationship with Agent 13) make a lot more sense in it. Iron Man being the brooding and responsible? Angsting over the death of some kid? Highly unconvincing. Cap stubbornly and foolishly sacrificing everything for Bucky. Okay, that part was ok, not gonna lie.

The movie is supposed to be the entry into MCU's Phase 3 but I think that's a real mess. I liked the 1st phase, especially the Captain America and the Iron Man. They were good solid plots and character developments, you could watch them with 0 comic knowledge and enjoy them.

But now it's gotten confusing as hell. The movie are so fused together you won't get shit unless you watch them in a row. I mean even I was confused af and I consider myself a fan. I understand that it gets harder to keep it interesting and live up with the expectations every time but I still very strongly feel it could be done better. Rather than saying the movie lacked something I'd say it had too much of many things. Too much plot, too many characters, it was all a blur. It certainly felt like the movie was trying too hard.

The number of characters made it hard for them to have any real character development. The two teams didn't make much sense, most characters seemed to be just tokens and randomly chosen. I mean, c'mon, main white dude leads, best black friends, one white chick on a team. Also the insect men were just really unnecessary. I know it's a comic thing but still. But I have to admit the newest Spidey felt very authentic.

Cap's romance with Agent 13 days after Peggy's death? Really? That's wrong on so many levels. I guess the fandom just sighed and agreed that it was a desperate attempt to make the movie less gay.

I also enjoyed this trailer, it pinpointed everything wrong with the movie: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZ3VQkK6Upo

PS: I rewatched the movie after watching Utron and I had a bit of a change of heart. I was left with a strong feeling that 1) Ultron is really crap on every single level and 2) Civil War is not that bad after all in comparison. Though everything I wrote still stands of course.

I suppose X-men will always be more of outsiders and stay in the shadow of Avengers. And I'm ok with that but this time, this round I felt like X-Men should have been the winners. It's enough that they get ignored in the game, with massive Avengers events every movie as well as minor ones for Netflix series and even the Agents of SHIELD. But anyway, let's talk about the movie.

First of all, I loved the origins stories, not all of them were close to the books but they were all vivid and fun. Angel's very alternate character was cool too, especially his transformation into Achangel. I also liked the scene that emphasized Jean's connection to Xavier, it was a really important part of the early X-Men dynamic. I loved the young cast. Jean Grey is flawless, Scott is awkward and lovable, Storm is cool af and why is there so little Jubilee? She's so cute. Psylocke was so authentic but I feel bad about her latex costume. And then there's Quicksilver who is simply perfect. His rescue scene was awesome.

However, as many noted, Magneto and Raven didn't even have to be in this movie. Mangeto's backstory looked too dramatic but alright, at least it was canon. As for Raven... for me the character is ruined. As much as I like Jennifer Lawrence, she's this Katniss character and nothing like the original Mystique. Mystique is like 200 years old, she's mean and vicious and ruthless and that makes her interesting. J.Law's Mystique is so pointless.

Of course, there were things that could have been better. The plot was very generic but that was ok with me. I thought DOFP was way too complicated and messy. The villain and his agenda was a little boring too but still way better than Ultron.

Apocalypse was a visual experience more than anything. Of course, it helped that I watched it in a theater in 3D, that was one of this year's highlights, really. But I really think the movie was well-balanced and fun.

At the end of the day, plots and characters are fairly subjective. What really matters is if you enjoyed the movie. I think superhero movies' primary objective is to be entertaining. It's good if they are more than that but they certainly don't need to be dramas. That is why I am rooting for X-Men Apocalypse.

@темы: review, Marvel

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Just woke up from one of the most terrifying dreams ever. If wasn't violent like the ones I used to have, but it was hyper-real and creepy, more of a thriller I guess. I just woke up in an unfamiliar apartment and there were people who seemed to party but then these people wanted to hurt me. I tried to wake up but two more times I ended up there. Finally, the 3rd time I tried acting more careful and intuitive and I was finally able o wake up but oh my god, that was awful. The thing that was scariest though was how that world was just as real as this one, if not more, I couldn't believe it. I've had this type of dreams before but they were all pretty nice. Anyway, it's good to be home.

@темы: Dreams

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最後な日。一人でいるのはちょっと寂しいけど自由だね。’楽しもう！’っていうつもりがあったなのに、けっこう普通だったな。いや、頑張った、私。でも、どんだけ頑張っても、つらかった。すごく頑張ってるけど、あまり進まない。まあ、しょうがない。どんなに辛くても、生きてることがすき。

@темы: .jp, snapshot

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My lonely living has been going really well so far. I didn't even feel anxious the first day like I used to before. I also had a notable relapse a few days ago but I managed it really well and it passed in just a day.

There's a lot of thing about. The terrible indigestion I've had for like a month is gone and my sleep's been oddly normal. Also lately I've been eating a lot of chocolate but since I've been alone I haven't really brought any sweets and I don't want to. Actually, that's not quite true. Sister brought me those imported chocolate-coated peanuts and I haven't had them in like 15 years probably and I was wondering how they taste but once I did I couldn't stop. After all, they're damn good.

I was looking for new shows to watch but it proved a difficult task. I want to watch Gaycation and I will I'm sure but it's not as jolly as it sounds. As expected, nothing regrading LGBT ever is. The s1e1 Japan was mostly fun but the later episodes have a lot of drama in them and I'm just not ready for that right now. There's also a couple of really interesting documentaries on sex and gender but they're all pretty heavy. I dunno, I was going to watch that stuff alone, too much gay for my mum to handle.

I then picked up The Real O’Neals which is a very normal family sitcom expect it really feels so 2016. QaF is one thing but having a family show where a boy comes out and his siblings are just like "Ok, cool" is something almost surreal.

@темы: snapshot

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Home Alone

So now it's just me and Raquelle. I will be mildly freaking out today but tomorrow I'll be fine. I might as well write a note to help myself gain a sense of direction and make the best of this time.

- Buy BD card

- Send BD package / receive the package for me (wtf is in it ugh)

- Finish the X-men Comic

- clean up my room

- watch that dumb movie I have kept for the occasion

- Rewatch all the faves while I can

- maybe try to finish fucking Skyrim already

- Work on Part 3. I know it's too heavy but it needs to be finished somehow.

- Call Z. Seriously, do it already.

- Finish and publish those S3 shoes. It's been 3 years.


There has to be more, I'll add later.

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Heavy precipitation all weekend and possibly the following week.

@темы: snapshot

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Martians Might Be Real. That Makes Mars Exploration Way More Complicated

I kinda been into space stuff lately. I always have been but recently I rediscovered my passion. Anyway, after looking at the new Mars surface photos from Curiosity, I stumbled upon this article that blew my mind.

www.wired.com/?p=2065597

The question that arises now is not how life on Earth evolved but why. Why bother creating complex organisms when tiny bacteria is that much more viable?

@темы: i'm a geek

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I'm so sentimental today, I nearly cried at a cartoon of a runaway refrigerator. I dunno, if it's hormones getting weird of something. I wonder if this is how normal girls feel.

@музыка: PJ Harvey - A Place Called Home (Live)

@темы: myself, musings

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Sid Meier's Civilization - Beyond Earth: Rising Tide

I just achieved a second victory in Sid Meier's Civilization - Beyond Earth which is really just a remake of Sid Meyer's Alpha Centauri. I don't know they renamed it, the game borrows all of AC's features including quotes and local fauna. The science has been reconstructed completely but it's now confusing as fuck. The social engineering has been replaced by something called 'virtues' which doesn't make any sense. The display is also a lot less convenient.

Of course, the improved graphics are nice and things such as explorations add fun to the game, but thinking of all the stuff that could be improved in the 15 years since AC, Id' say it's a failure. More than anything, it lacks the strong spirit of Alpha Centauri. The quotes are poor and rather boring, the leader profiles are somewhat primitive and the voice of the Russian guy is cringe-worthy. There's no achievement pyramid, no planetary council, no video after completing projects and of course no brilliant fiction. While some of the quests are good, the building ones are just plain annoying. The final videos is a good idea except they are lame and disappointing. The intro video, on the contrary, was very HQ but didn't make any goddamn sense. My second victory was by contact and basically, nothing happened. Oh, and I miss that digital voice... All in all, it feels like they copied the mechanics of the game but left out the things that made it a complete experience. Why couldn't they just make a visual update of AC like they did with Colonization instead of ruining the game? Then again maybe most gamers won't give a fuck.

@музыка: Flosstradamus - Details (ft. PK Hardstyle)

@темы: Games

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Just when Yoochun's case has been steadily clearing up, I found out Yoohwan's girlfriend of 4 years is suing him for breaking their common law marriage. This year is insane.

@темы: Yoochunnie

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Закрытая запись, не предназначенная для публичного просмотра

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I failed to post these in time and thought it didn't matter since I do it all on tumblr now anyway but my guilty conscience won't let me rest so...

@темы: Birthday

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Lately I've been hitting the documentaries. It's just one of those stages. I've come through quite a few and all of them were amazing. A good documentary has several important features - the volume and accessibility of information, the director's and cameraman's work, and a good narrator or host. But more than anything, what I really seek in a documentary is the ability to change my perspective, let me see things in a new light.

Not long ago I delved into biology with a few docs on cells and DNA and they were ok but I wasn't quite pleased by them. But the ones I discovered recently have all been hits. First of all, it's "How We Got to Now". I watched a lot of docs about ancient inventions, I loved those a lot but this one was a bit different. It was about how some fundamental inventions and idea have shaped the modern world. They had a lot of information, and while normally I don't like jumping through time and distance, this series had good structure and was really engaging. The host was nice too. This show unlocked something within me. One day I got came into the bathroom and suddenly started looking all all the usual objects as if I saw them for the first time. My mind started wondering how invented those things and how many years people have been perfecting it and where the exact object I had was made and how much thought and effort it took to land it here, in my bathroom. Those kinds of insights are what make me feel alive.

I also got one about space and the distant planets called "Alien Worlds". While 90% theoratical, it was very stimulating. It also led to building space colonies again, but later about that. Then there was one documentary called "Charles Darwin. The Tree of Life". It was a crash course into the evolution theory nicely structured and with beautiful cinematography. Then, due to the scorching heat that we're having, I took up the BBC's Wild Arabia and it was a winner. More than anything, it was beautifully filmed and some footage was breathtaking. But there were also some very unexpected elements to it that sated my mind in addition to my senses. And now I started BBC's Wonders of Life and it more than lives up to its name so far.

Thank you for the documentaries.

@темы: documentaries

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A few days to get my package across the globe, nearly 2 weeks to get it my my post office and another 5 weeks to fucking inform me...

Well, doesn't matter now, she's here. She's home.

@музыка: No Doubt - Ex-Girlfriend

@темы: little treasures

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This period in my life I shall later refer to as 'Waiting for Raquelle'...

@темы: snapshot

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The last few days have been full of shit, basically but still I saw the light when something drove me on another one of my media adventures and I found a diamond that is the album of Boaz Mauda. That boy sings like an angel. The whole album is true thing of beauty. It's te kind of music that even though you can't understand the lyrics, it feels like God speaks to you.

@музыка: בועז מעודה - בועז מעודה

@темы: Artist

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Sia

Over the last year I discovered so many amazingly talented female artists. Starting with Marina, I met Lorde, rediscovered Melanie, got briefly acquainted with Ellie and Lana. As if that wasn't great already, there came Sia. I really loved Electric Heart which was an OST to Hunger Games but it was only a few months back that I downloaded her album. And then another one. And another. All 7 of them turned out to be amazing and very different. From the nostalgic acid jazz of 'Only See', to more dramatic and themed 'Healing Is Difficult', lyrical and soothing 'Colour The Small One' and 'Some People Have Real Problems' to funky 'We Are Born' and finally the catchy but very serious pop '1000 Forms Of Fear' and 'This Is Acting'. Her music is full of colours and has so much soul it instantly resonated with me.

I am so grateful I found her. Lately good music is just about the only thing I can rely on.

@музыка: Sia - Insidiously

@настроение: pretty decent for once

@темы: Artist

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I've always been alienated. In so many ways. In my childhood I was shy and was mostly keeping to myself though it's not like I felt lonely, I was fine and people got very disappointing very early. Then, as I got just a little older, I became a fan. First it was CN, then TV shows and music and since 16 bands. Since then I felt alienated from people who weren't fans. Later I found some like-minded people but it only lasted a couple of years. Since I lost everyone who I considered friends, it's been hard once again. People my age are living very different lives and my fandomness is a kind of a dirty secret. Then of course there's my mental issues so make that two secrets. Lately I feel even more alienated because now even fandom doesn't make me feel connected. I'm nothing like the normal fans: I don't like the band's music, I don't want to go to their concert and I always keep a certain emotional distance from it. I also try to keep my thoughts to myself to avoid hurting anyone. But at the end of the day, all that matters is keeping myself sane.

@темы: myself, musings