воскресенье, 11 декабря 2011
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
It's been a great day and a great night. I'm already a little sad though.
суббота, 10 декабря 2011
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Tired and annoyed as hell. And surely enough it's 4 AM again. Mission: failed.
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Fuck. Seriously. How could she do this to me? HOW COULD SHE?
I was so looking forward to the fic and it's so well-written and then halfway through I realize it's... I seriously felt like crying >_< Waii is this happening? I was so glad I found her and now it turns out we have one serious difference in vision. Maybe I should try to change my perspective instead because it keeps plaguing me. Ah, but if we could choose what to like and what to be turned on by...
Another thing that I hate in this situation is that I already promised her my undying love and now I have to let her know how I really feel about this.

I begin to think there's something wrong with me since everyone else seems to like it.

Another thing that I hate in this situation is that I already promised her my undying love and now I have to let her know how I really feel about this.

I begin to think there's something wrong with me since everyone else seems to like it.
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I just decided to check the list of nominees for this year's Golden Disk Awards and I'm a bit shocked. I mean I didn't have any delusions that JYJ would be there but no TVXQ2 either? And no Big Bang? Seriously, What the Fuck? It's kind of funny actually. I could care less about TVXQ, I stopped following them long ago, heck I barely follow JYJ now, but somehow this made me angry. I mean even as two TVXQ are a high-quality band, way better that all those half-wit amateurs and they did work hard all year and surely deserve to be nominated at the least. First MAMA, now Golden Disk. What is this? A conspiracy?
пятница, 09 декабря 2011
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Crap! It's 3 AM. I got carried away yet again. And of course I didn't even try to study. Shit, I missed two lessons already and need to catch up on a lot of stuff.
Even more ridiculous: I haven't read that fic that I was so looking forward to either. Doesn't even make sense.
At that rate I won't get anything done. I seriously need to sort my priorities and fast because I know the week will over in a blink of an eye and I will be left with regrets.
Even more ridiculous: I haven't read that fic that I was so looking forward to either. Doesn't even make sense.

03:12
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I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
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I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...

I take pride in the fact that I can always tell if I'm going to like the film from just the trailer or even a poster and a summary. I don't remember ever being disappointed about a film I chose to watch. This time it was true as well.
This film has all the things I really love about Japanese films and more. It's very atmospheric and calm while the plot is quite interesting and original. But apart from that it has a strong message. The idea pretty much applies to any human being: trying to fit in and yet stay true to oneself. It's something that I personally can strongly relate to. Although the film is about teenagers it's a dilemma everyone faces at different stages. Anyway, this film was nice to watch as it was but the fact that the conclusion the heroine reached is exactly the same as I myself have at some point made me really excited. I really think it's a kind of film that could really help some people who face this kind of issue.
*
Also today I re-watched Bandage. I think it's a really good film. It doesn't really have a distinct message, it just tells a story. The emotional side of it is so raw and honest and easy to empathize with. Sometimes I think the Japanese are very weird but there are things that are true for everyone regardless of nationality. The problem of self-identification and alienation are pretty much the same for any country. Watching the film made me think of many things. Of how every band faces the trial of fame. Of how two broken people can't really help each other. Of how finding something to relate to isn't necessarily good and many other things.
Rather than watching all those 'cult' films that inevitably make you think "It was good. I suppose. But there's no way I'm watching it again" I choose the films that make you watch them over and over again each time noticing something new and surfacing new emotions.
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I have to write this down or I'l go crazy.
Asian films are really that much different from Western ones. And it's not just the plot of cultural differences. I'm not talking about all of them of course but I saw quite a few and there's this pattern that goes for many Japanese films and Korean as well to a lesser degree. That said, I have no interest whatsoever in acclaimed directors. Too much angst and mind-fuck. I've been there and I don't want to go back. What I'm talking about is simple, down-to earth films that deal with quite normal events. As a white person I'm used to concentrating on the plot and using my mind to watch the film. But when I watch this kind of films I begin to feel. It's something I've never felt before so I can't really explain it, it's just an overwhelming feeling of calmness but not the sleepy kind, the alert kind. If that even makes sense. Rather than having a complicated plot, these films have a really strong atmosphere. Partly this effect is due to unique directing, partly due to deliberate use of colours and settings, but there's more. I like to think of it as magic) I love how there are many scenes that aren't really related to the plot. When a girl watches people in a train or just random landscapes of the city. Another thing is how there are scenes where nothing really happens and time seems to stretch out yet it's not boring at all. On the contrary, it only helps to pull you into the image. And of course there's the whole Japanese aesthetics thing. I've watched a lot of films in my life. A lot of films I considered good. Yet, somehow in the last couple of years the Japanese films have managed to capture my heart and if you ask me what my favourite non-Asian film is I will get confused trying to remember what was it again that I liked before. The genre doesn't matter either. In a way I think maybe it's because Asains aren't bound by the rules and traditions that exist in the West that they are able to film to freely.
There are also Asian films dealing with not-so-normal events. Those are a little different because here the symbolism and the overall imagery plays a crucial part. Take Kagen no Tsuki and Heaven's Postman. Both are romantic films with a mystical plot. Yet the plots as such aren't that special. What really leaves an impression is the amazing atmosphere that gets embedded in one's mind. I dare say Japanese films have more soul in them.
In a way I feel these films are very underrated but at the same time I'm sort of glad because it means they are mine.
Asian films are really that much different from Western ones. And it's not just the plot of cultural differences. I'm not talking about all of them of course but I saw quite a few and there's this pattern that goes for many Japanese films and Korean as well to a lesser degree. That said, I have no interest whatsoever in acclaimed directors. Too much angst and mind-fuck. I've been there and I don't want to go back. What I'm talking about is simple, down-to earth films that deal with quite normal events. As a white person I'm used to concentrating on the plot and using my mind to watch the film. But when I watch this kind of films I begin to feel. It's something I've never felt before so I can't really explain it, it's just an overwhelming feeling of calmness but not the sleepy kind, the alert kind. If that even makes sense. Rather than having a complicated plot, these films have a really strong atmosphere. Partly this effect is due to unique directing, partly due to deliberate use of colours and settings, but there's more. I like to think of it as magic) I love how there are many scenes that aren't really related to the plot. When a girl watches people in a train or just random landscapes of the city. Another thing is how there are scenes where nothing really happens and time seems to stretch out yet it's not boring at all. On the contrary, it only helps to pull you into the image. And of course there's the whole Japanese aesthetics thing. I've watched a lot of films in my life. A lot of films I considered good. Yet, somehow in the last couple of years the Japanese films have managed to capture my heart and if you ask me what my favourite non-Asian film is I will get confused trying to remember what was it again that I liked before. The genre doesn't matter either. In a way I think maybe it's because Asains aren't bound by the rules and traditions that exist in the West that they are able to film to freely.
There are also Asian films dealing with not-so-normal events. Those are a little different because here the symbolism and the overall imagery plays a crucial part. Take Kagen no Tsuki and Heaven's Postman. Both are romantic films with a mystical plot. Yet the plots as such aren't that special. What really leaves an impression is the amazing atmosphere that gets embedded in one's mind. I dare say Japanese films have more soul in them.
In a way I feel these films are very underrated but at the same time I'm sort of glad because it means they are mine.
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I changed the diary title. That seems about right. I had my first diary when I was 11 and at 13 I began writing regularly. 5 years ago I created this digital diary and eventually pretty much moved here. The paper one is now used rarely and for the most personal stuff only. Recently I feel that the need to write only seems to increase. It kind of scares me, to be honest.
четверг, 08 декабря 2011
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Hello, first proper snow! Goodbye, hot running water! No, seriously, are you kidding me?
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I dressed up and having a party all by myself. It's pretty fun actually. I should have brought more wine though because this one sucks.
среда, 07 декабря 2011
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I was gonna throw a party with booze and foam and strippers but then I remembered I have no friends. Bummer.
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Got the new retainers today. As expected they make me want to throw up especially since they still taste like plastic. Oh well, nothing new here. At least they seem to do the trick.
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I didn't turn off my PC since several days ago and I'm probably not going to for several more days and since all of my music is on the disabled HD I don't have that much choice. Yet, there's definitely a new direction.
About a week ago I stumbled upon one tumblr account with a playlist and several songs instantly caught on. Most notably LAMA - Fantasy and Toriko - Kurikaeshi Hitotsubu. There's also a song PonPonPon by One Cup which is a version the infamous Kyary Pamyu Pamyu song. Took me awhile to realize it's the song and the video that was a hot topic this summer. Anyway it's such a funny song plus I can't help it - it reminds me of Hiroto! XDDD Anyway, seems like most songs on this blog were taken from the nicosound site. I don't know how the site works yet but seems like you can somehow record a song with your digitally-altered voice and the song become available for listening and free download. The Japanese keep coming up with the most interesting ideas. I reckon most of these songs are from anime and such and they're pretty generic but it's a distinct genre and basically I like it.
As for Alice Nine, lately my recent favourites are Solar Eclipse, THE LAST EMPIRE and 夢幻 -electric eden-. The latter is a really beautiful song. And the performance from the Vandalizm DVD is simply breathtaking. There's no way I can hate you, Saga the third wheeler.
About a week ago I stumbled upon one tumblr account with a playlist and several songs instantly caught on. Most notably LAMA - Fantasy and Toriko - Kurikaeshi Hitotsubu. There's also a song PonPonPon by One Cup which is a version the infamous Kyary Pamyu Pamyu song. Took me awhile to realize it's the song and the video that was a hot topic this summer. Anyway it's such a funny song plus I can't help it - it reminds me of Hiroto! XDDD Anyway, seems like most songs on this blog were taken from the nicosound site. I don't know how the site works yet but seems like you can somehow record a song with your digitally-altered voice and the song become available for listening and free download. The Japanese keep coming up with the most interesting ideas. I reckon most of these songs are from anime and such and they're pretty generic but it's a distinct genre and basically I like it.
As for Alice Nine, lately my recent favourites are Solar Eclipse, THE LAST EMPIRE and 夢幻 -electric eden-. The latter is a really beautiful song. And the performance from the Vandalizm DVD is simply breathtaking. There's no way I can hate you, Saga the third wheeler.
I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I gave up on PartRecovery, now trying the Partition Table Doctor. The progress bar looks scary but I still reckon it's my best option right now.
Time remaining: 134:36
Which makes about 5 days. Let's pray there shall be no power shortage.
Time remaining: 134:36

Which makes about 5 days. Let's pray there shall be no power shortage.
06:32
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