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Записи с темой: snapshot (список заголовков)
17:15 

Today's unexciting story

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Went outside for 40 minutes. Never again. Spent about 15 minutes at the post office trying to get my letter out of which 5 was trying to get their attention and 10 getting them to find my fucking letter. When they finally did find it I said "sorry for the trouble". FUCK my fucking conditioning. Then I went to get some ice-cream. As I paid and was about to leave a huge guy blocked the exit and demanded to look inside my purse, even moved things inside. I gave him my best "FUCK YOU" face and stormed off home. I am 5'2 of hate and fury.

@темы: snapshot

23:39 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I've been on this really strict diet for a month now - no bread, no flour, rice, chocolate or coffee, chicken and much more. I got through it, it was hard but I endured hoping it would get better but today after a check-up the diet wasn't cut, it only got more severe - now I can't have any milk, sugar or eggs either. I was so proud of myself but this is getting really hard, not to mention all the other prescriptions. It's gonna be another long month.

@темы: myself, snapshot

20:51 

Dahlia

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I never brought pot flowers before but yesterday I just saw it and wanted to take it home. I planted my dahlia to the big pot and now it is mine to take care of.

 photo IMG_5957.jpg

@темы: snapshot

04:40 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I sent two Christmas letters to friends. One came after 5 weeks. The one I sent to Japan came in 2 months. I can't believe this bullshit. How fucked is this country? In 2 months a letter could fucking swim to Japan on its own. I am so done with this shit.

@темы: snapshot, bitching

00:23 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
While taking a short break from the fandom and the hell that is “Emma” I just watched the movie “Suffragette”. It ended with me listening to the song “Emily” by the Manic Street Preachers, dedicated to Emily Pankhurst, and thinking how low I sank in these 12 years. Such similar titles, such different songs.

@темы: snapshot, movies, Nostalgic Pushead

02:16 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
My phone's stopped showing the year correctly, it won't go past 2016. I guess nobody could imagine you can use the same phone for 8-9 years. Seriously, how hard it was to add more years? I had to set it to 2006 for the weekday to match the date. That's no big problem but the 'pink schedule' feature just refuses to work, that was handy.

@темы: snapshot

23:19 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I registered at Upwork a few days ago. I took it slow, completing my profile and taking tests. They even gave me Rising Talent badge, that should give me some chance. I try not to get my hopes up and it won't be easy but I have to try, this could be the change I need.

@темы: snapshot

05:49 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Jan 1, 2017

1 AM: It's a brand new year, it's all going to be better. Maybe I won't even get dep-
3 AM: Ah, here it is.

@темы: snapshot, myself

22:13 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I seldom gt hooked but recently I got hooked on a stupid Jpop Asia game. I'm at fucking Round 104. And I was close to bankruptcy at one point after getting Gackt so I had to get point from filling in the lyrics and adding some Givuss stuff. And at first I was like 'I'm not gonna do any reselling' but now I'm "HELL YESA! Imma buy Big Bang and sell it for 20 GRAND!" Basically, now I'm mostly just missing NEWS. Someone was selling them for 8.5k awhile ago but I didn't have that much anyway. But once I have them my motivation would be pretty low I guess so I'll just keep playin' for now.

www.jpopasia.com/u/swoon21/cards/

@темы: snapshot

21:56 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
It's legit snowing outside. Hello, Winter! Aren't you a little fucking early?

@темы: snapshot

16:22 

Nijikan Dake no Vacance

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...


So into this video. I was introduced to it by Shige on his radio but I'm almost sure I'd have learned about it soon enough anyway since I love Utada Hikaru. Anyway, I don't even know, there's just something breathtaking about the PV. And then there's the homoerotic undertone, of course. Btw, last week Shige talked about Sia's 'The Greatest'. He has no mercy on me.

@темы: snapshot

16:45 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I noticed the bills started coming to my name, not my mum. I'm the household's primary adult now. That's kind of scary.

@темы: snapshot

16:10 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
最後な日。一人でいるのはちょっと寂しいけど自由だね。’楽しもう!’っていうつもりがあったなのに、けっこう普通だったな。いや、頑張った、私。でも、どんだけ頑張っても、つらかった。すごく頑張ってるけど、あまり進まない。まあ、しょうがない。どんなに辛くても、生きてることがすき。

@темы: snapshot, .jp

23:00 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
My lonely living has been going really well so far. I didn't even feel anxious the first day like I used to before. I also had a notable relapse a few days ago but I managed it really well and it passed in just a day.

There's a lot of thing about. The terrible indigestion I've had for like a month is gone and my sleep's been oddly normal. Also lately I've been eating a lot of chocolate but since I've been alone I haven't really brought any sweets and I don't want to. Actually, that's not quite true. Sister brought me those imported chocolate-coated peanuts and I haven't had them in like 15 years probably and I was wondering how they taste but once I did I couldn't stop. After all, they're damn good.

I was looking for new shows to watch but it proved a difficult task. I want to watch Gaycation and I will I'm sure but it's not as jolly as it sounds. As expected, nothing regrading LGBT ever is. The s1e1 Japan was mostly fun but the later episodes have a lot of drama in them and I'm just not ready for that right now. There's also a couple of really interesting documentaries on sex and gender but they're all pretty heavy. I dunno, I was going to watch that stuff alone, too much gay for my mum to handle.

I then picked up The Real O’Neals which is a very normal family sitcom expect it really feels so 2016. QaF is one thing but having a family show where a boy comes out and his siblings are just like "Ok, cool" is something almost surreal.

@темы: snapshot

03:53 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Heavy precipitation all weekend and possibly the following week.

@темы: snapshot

16:22 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
This period in my life I shall later refer to as 'Waiting for Raquelle'...

@темы: snapshot

20:52 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
It was a really hard week with the new job and all. I was really pissed and really stressed. I expected another failed weekend. However, I turned things around. Even though it was raining on Saturday I went to get that haircut and after I took mum to ITIS Cafe. I've been planning to go for months, play some arcades as well. It was nice. After we got back I even ordered that Thai takeout but as expected it turned out pretty gross. Oh, well. You don't know till you try. And then today I caught the last screening of X-Men: Apocalypse in 3D. I barely made it but I'm really glad I did because t was awesome. Thus, this might as well be my most productive weekend in years if not ever.

@темы: snapshot

00:15 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Work, fandom, Skyrim, Sia, Queer as Folk, Marvel Heroes... my daily menu.

@темы: snapshot

17:34 

PVs of the month

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
KIM JAE JOONG - Love You More



I was very sceptical when I heard a few people call Jae's new album a "masterpiece" but it's actually not half bad. I mean I only like a few songs but the riffs on are good, they don't sound cheap. I quite like this particular song and PV. I like the non-typical people in the video and there's a really nice feel to it. It would have been a great PV if it wasn't for the parts with Jaejoon himself. They just look so off. And way too much make-up.

L’Arc~en~Ciel - Wings Flap



On it's 25th year and still going strong. What I love about Laruku is that they always keep close to their original sound and yet every time add just enough of a new touch to keep it fresh. This time it's Hyde's accentuated vocals that hit home just right. The surrealistic PV is also classy as always. Well, it'd probably be classier if Hyde kept his flaily dancing down a notch but then that wouldn't be Hyde.


NEWS - Touch



JE makes it impossible to place PVs on YT so had to improvise. I love the video. It's finally NEWS not trying to be something they're not. Pure pop at its best. Botht the song and the video just make me smile and make me pointlessly unconditionally happy.

@темы: video, snapshot

18:55 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
It's been a really tough couple of days. The teeth aching and the stomach and all the feelings messed up so bad... A few nights were agonizing but it's a little better now. Yesterday I finally went and got that problematic nerve removed. It was terrifying but pretty fast. It still aches now but I only hope that's just the leftover pain and it'll pass. I also made that other important call but I will have to wait a few weeks for the appointment. I'm also still doing the TS processing. I think I might have some results already but it's not going easy, nothing with me ever is it seems. It will probably take at least another month. Also sending my 3rd test assignment for l'official even if the chance is slim. At any rate, I'm proud of myself.

I had to give up on Skyrim for now. Meanwhile, I've been keeping myself busy with continuing my course of contemporary female music acts. I went through Lana Del Ray, Ellie Golding and Lorde. The last one really impressed me. I was blown away like "if that's the future on music industry, I'm not worried". I like her album and her songs for the Hunger Games are just amazing. I've been thinking of watching it and I learned the 4th and final film was coming this November so I ended up watching the first film. It was good as expected but even thought it was rated PG-13 it was still really hard for me. No sense in keeping away from Skyrim and watching this. I really want to see the other parts but I don't think I'm ready for it.

I haven't updated tumbr in 4 days which might be a record, no matter how bad it was I never kept away for more than 1,5 days. But I don't feel like it now, it takes time and energy investment which I can't afford now. Besides, every time I get a little spirit in me it gets blown right away. Be it my own fault or having to pacify my newfound friends, I just end up feeling empty and alone every time. But I can take it, I can take everything.

@музыка: PJ Harvey - We Float

@темы: snapshot

The Diary of a Graphomaniac

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