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00:30 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Guess I gave out way too many fucks yesterday coz now I clearly ran out. Fuck the reports and everything else, gonna go to Marvel Heroes and try to unlock some more Achievements, those shall be the only ones in my life in the foreseeable future.

@темы: snapshot

15:39 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Damn, I spent a whole week praying for rain or at least clouds because I couldn’t revise and post the 4th chapter in the fucking perfect weather wit the birds singing. And every day they promised rain it never came. Today it’s only somewhat cloudy but I had to work with that. Watched a sad scene from a film, put some sad music on and made myself depressed. I did so well I cried on the last scene. Good fucking job. I’m crazy, I swear. At least it is done.

Ugh, gonna go and post some cute Koyama and get myself undepressed.

@темы: fanfix

23:23 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Ok, I just need to get this off my chest. I never really read the lyrics for all songs the sake of my own sanity. There are too many and I don’t really care or I don’t want to know. I mean I can tell some songs are dirty but I don’t want to examine them in depth. But like the other day I read lyrics to Bambina (someone to blame here) and I was like “No way. He did NOT.” And I’m still traumatized. And then there’s Chankapana which is a song I have a lot of issues with because I like to listen to it and it’s catchy in a good way but I can not for the life of me understand why the hell it’s dedicated to fans and some lyrics I only realized recently like “Wait. Did he just... OH.” The “he” being Tegoshi, of course.

What’s even more weird is how this is contrasting to them being embarrassed about the normalest things. Singing about fucking someone hard and then being all squirmish when your bandmate of 12 years holds your hand or even just from looking at him at close distance. Seriously? I will never ever get these guys, I swear.

@темы: NEWS.

20:08 

22 Great Women

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Artemisia Gentileschi - Italian Baroque painter.
Ching Shih - pirate in middle Qing China.
Elsa Jane Guerin (Mountain Charley) - adventurer, gold miner, writer.
Mary Sherman Morgan - U.S. rocket fuel scientist.
Lou Xiaoying - Chinese rubbish collector who saved and raised 30 abandoned babies.
Fumiko Hayashi - mayor of Yokohama.
Hazel McCallion - Canadian politician and businesswoman who served as the mayor of Mississauga.
Beate Sirota Gordon - performing arts presenter and women's rights advocate. Contributed to rewriting the Japanese 1946 constitution.
Nadezhda Durova - disguised as a man, became was the first known female officer in the Russian military.
Margaret Keane - American artist.
Empress Jing - empress of the China.
Chien-Shiung Wu - Chinese American experimental physicist who made significant contributions in the field of nuclear physics.
Hedy Lamarr - Actress & Scientist
Theodora - queen of Byzantine
Steve Shirley - British information technology pioneer, businesswoman and philanthropist.
Clara Belle Williams - the first African-American graduate of New Mexico State University.
Irena Sendler - a Polish nurse and a member of Polish Underground helping to save approximately 2,500 Jewish children out of the Warsaw Ghetto.
Caroline Norton - English woman's rights activist.
Christine de Pizan - Medieval poet, writer.
Hildegard of Bingen - religious leader.
Laura Bassi - scientist, physicist, professor.
Roxolana- a slave who became a queen

Started a list last year.

Here's a good place for some biographies:
www.open.edu/openlearn/history-the-arts/world-c...

@темы: issues, i'm a geek

17:10 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
 photo funny-chapter-book-wrong-life-1.jpg

20:02 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Bit of a tough day. Waking up from a particularly cruel dream. Going downstairs. Finally it arrived. Calling internet people, browsing job site, trying to deal with DASH, not enough time, going to pay the bills, getting my parcel, going to that other store...

 photo IMG_5944.jpg

Open the parcel. Feel like crying. Charlotte is an angel. She has to be.

 photo IMG_5946.jpg

@темы: little treasures, snapshot

00:06 

Trailer

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...


Ok, it is done. No going back now.

@темы: fanfix

13:45 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I kept going in and out of sleep the whole morning so there were many dreams of all kinds. But the vilest and sweetest one happened a few hours ago. I'm really such a loser to dream about chatting with people and watching vids and worrying my sister might see and just being a fan. But hell, that kiss was worth it. I'd pay a lot to see it again.

@темы: Dreams, TegoShige

16:47 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I got Marina's early stuff, covers, b-sides and unreleased and got a whole new specter of feels. The early stuff made me feel disappointment. I mean I was like "Oh. I see. There was a reason this stuff was unreleased." It's trashy and rough and not all that surprising. It's only natural that when artist is self-taught she has a way to go. The thing that bothered me though is that I honestly think it would be better to just drop those songs, they are all just premature.

The other stuff is good though. I can see why it didn't make it onto the albums but some of that stuff is brilliant. I'm absolutely in love with Just Desserts (feat. Charli XCX). It's like "Woah, this is unlike anything I've heard. It's odd and awesome."

23:56 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
It was a really long dream but there was this part where I was in this corridor with Alice Nine and they just sort of hung out there, going in and out and at one point I remember just randomly bear hugging Shou from behind just because he was being so cute and then being sorry because I felt I must have creeped him out. It was really good.

@темы: Dreams

13:32 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Spent hours on this yesterday...

 photo JJ202004-2015.jpg

@музыка: JYJ - I Love You (feat. Flowsik)

@темы: Jaejoong

16:21 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
 photo enlist.jpg


So the day has come. I haven't thought much of it. Until now. I went through posts and then watched a few videos and then suddenly began to cry. But it's not really Jaejoong I'm crying over. I don't follow him lately and I don't like him half as much as I used to but I guess we both changed since then. I'm crying over myself that used to love him, over that time when for a brief moment all seemed well. That's what I thought though in reality I was on train headed to the cliff. I can remember that time 8 fucking years ago when we would joke about it, what a tragedy their enlistment would be, back then it seemed so distant and unreal.

It still warms my heart he met with Yoo and Su in the last few days but he really looks so sad and lost. I'm gonna miss him, damn, I will. Bye bye, Jae. Take care.

@темы: Jaejoong

01:26 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
The tour is just 2 cities in but we have had kabe-dons, kata-dzuns, couple roleplay, butt touching, talking about Tegoshi's dick more than once as well as assorted hugs and hand-holding. Tegoshi is out of control. At this rate by the end of the tour he'll be humping the members.

@темы: NEWS.

00:12 

She-hulk SMASH!

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I've been looking forward to her for quite awhile now and I had no hesitation in getting her but now that I did I don't feel much joy. I guess this game is getting old after all. Or maybe just prestigeing X-23 was too tedious. I better take a break anyway.

 photo she-hulk2.jpg


She's skantilly dressed but at least still doesn't look skanky like Rogue here.

@темы: Games

01:47 

King's Bounty: The Dark Side

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
It's been 5 months and I finally finished it. 69,9 hours of my life and another one to write this post and sort the screens. Honestly the last month or so it was just about finishing it. While I definitely enjoy the game mechanics and graphics I felt like the plot was just too long. Overall, compared to the Armored Princess the game felt somewhat raw and buggy. Maybe it's just me but I just don't trust Russian companies, they just aren't thorough enough. Especially 1C. I still remember them releasing Heroes III and IV in the 90's and 00's with horrid sloppy translation and tons of bugs.

 photo screen_150216_001.jpg


Other things I found unsatisfying:

- while I liked the idea of playing as the usually hostile races the plot was all over the place and the ending was just dumb.

- the worst thing was that many quests were almost impossible to figure out on your own. Sometimes you had no idea how to solve them and sometimes you couldn't find the character you had to speak to to proceed. I bet everyone who played this had to use the forums every once in awhile. I also noted how multiple choice quests ended up in failed quests if you considered your options.

- the way the troops's special powers and effects affect other troop. For example, making fire elementals bleed or poisoning the skeletons should not happen.

- the ridiculous sexism - the female outfits and demoness animations were outrageous. I got itchy looking at Neoline's naked ass riding a horse and whatever. I also decidedly ignored the island of Amazonia because no matter how I look at it it's a rather blatant parody of feminists.

Despite my bias the game is still good overall but it could really use some revision and beta-testing.

@музыка: Marina & the Diamonds - Sex Yeah

19:13 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
Me and mum were so desperate for distraction we watched Sex and the City. I think I lost a few points of my IQ. Then again it wasn't as bad as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

01:54 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I've got 2 stories that are almost finished. Not just that but a ton of artwork and even a longish trailer. I've been working on all of these the past few days. Yet, I have this fear that sort of makes me slow down and delay it. I know that once they're out there and I get my 5 comments it'll be over, lost in the cruel open digital space. My fanworks are really some of the things I am most proud of in my life. It's something very important and very intimate and in a way it's baring my heart and then facing rejection. My last work is especially intimate, I invested so much of myself into it. Of course I'll finish them soon enough but I also kind of dread the inevitable heartbreak.

@темы: fanfix

16:55 

Marina and The Diamonds

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I'm in love. Her name's Marina. She is perfect.

:heart::heart:<img class=:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:<img class=


It's been 3 days. Lately I have been craving for good music, especially after the recent NEWS and A9 songs. Ever since the one gulp of excitement that was A Fever You Can't Sweat Out there have only been odd gems here and there but now I feel like I found a mother lode. In the good ol' Welsh land.

I don't think it ever happened so quickly before. Listening to song after song and thinking "That's it". Perhaps I never had an artist who spoke to me so directly. She is definitely in league with Maria Mena and Melanie Martizez and maybe Gaga but she transcends them all. Sexy but not vulgar. Original but not shocking, dramatic but not sentimental, dark but not creepy. I have a feeling Marina just might be my favourite female artist ever. The music, the lyrics, the PVs, the looks - everything about her is flawless.

I have about 20 songs in my head right now and I can't even pick which ones I like best. They're all fucking brilliant. The three albums are made of purely good songs and they all have different appeals from youthful statements to mature rich flavour. When it seemed like everything has been said she came and filled a void that I never knew existed. Her visuals is flawless. She has so many images that are so different you'd have a hard time believing it's one and the same person.

It's that one feeling that I wouldn't trade for anything. It's like a gulp of fresh air, something that gives me life. It's so good that I want to savour it so I keep myself from listening to her too much.

@музыка: Marina & the Diamonds - Fear and Loathing

@темы: Artist

14:15 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I don't want fame or money or huge success. All I want is a normal quiet life, just feeling ok, having enough money to buy the necessary things. But lately that seems like a distant dream. Every thread I grab slips away and I'm sitting on the floor in apathy again. Tired of fighting invisible wars again.

@темы: myself

13:52 

I don’t wanna feel Blue anymore...
I guess in the end I didn't even matter enough to say goodbye. Goodbye, Alex.

@музыка: Indochine - La Buddha affaire

@темы: address

The Diary of a Graphomaniac

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